For Real, Everybody?

So, my school's prom was this Saturday. There's kind of a tradition that girls wear their dresses and guys wear their boutonnieres and whatnot to church the next day.

However, last year, around prom time, my mom directed my attention to this article.

It appeared in the October 2011 New Era, in the To The Point section. It's the last question, and what it says is this:

"Some youth wear their formal outfits to church on the Sunday after a school’s formal dance. Is this OK for Sunday dress?"

"For the Strength of Youth says, “Show respect for the Lord and for yourself by dressing appropriately for Church meetings” ([2001], 16). So the answer to this question depends on what “appropriately” means.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught a principle that helps us understand what is appropriate dress for sacrament meeting. “There should be nothing about [your] personal appearance or actions that would call special attention to [you] or distract anyone present from full attention to the worship and covenant making that are the purpose of this sacred service” (“Sacrament Meeting and the Sacrament,” Ensign, Nov. 2008, 20).

Prom dresses, formals, and tuxedos belong at a dance, not at church. This special type of dress is worn for certain special occasions and would unduly call attention to itself at church.

A priest blessing the sacrament in a tuxedo would be distracting, as would a young woman attending church in a formal dress.

Also keep in mind that there may be young men or young women at church who did not attend the dance. Seeing others in gowns and tuxes could be hurtful and disrupt their worship experience. Be mindful of how you dress, because it could affect those around you, as well as your own worship."

So, my mom had me read it and then left it up to me what I would do. I decided not to wear my dress. Last year, when people asked me why, I just explained it to them.

This year, I printed out the article and had them read it. My young women's president said, "That's good enough for me!"

And hers was the only positive reaction I got. Last year, and this year both, people go, "Oh, that's so SAD." or they look at me with pity, like I'm just missing out on this great experience of wearing my fancy dress to church.

And it's not that I couldn't, because my dresses are modest. It's that I choose not to, because we've been counseled not to.

And it drives me CRAZY that people view it as me making a sacrifice, or a sad choice. I'm just doing what we've been asked to do. Why do people pity that?

Why can't people say, "Great for you! I didn't know that we've been asked not to wear our formal attire. Way to set a good example!"

I don't understand why people think it's a negative decision.

Honestly, dealing with everyone pitying me for doing the right thing was harder for me than not wearing the dress, or seeing the other girls in their dresses.

And I think we need to change our perceptions, so that doesn't happen. People who ought to have the same standards shouldn't make others feel pitied for holding those standards.

K. Pet peeve rant over.