Things Aren't Getting Better?

This year. This freaking year. I just don't know what to do with it.

I think the only positive things have been my family and the Gospel. Which, are aboslutely incredible and I am SOOO grateful for them!

But today I'm gonna have a pity party. Because today this is what's happening.

So, this post? Taking Things Personally? I wrote it a bit ago about this school year and how basically I just feel like no one needs me or even wants me around... But maybe I'm overreacting and taking everything personally?

Well. I just feel like junk. Because this is still going on. I'm everyone's last choice. Our choir is going on another trip, we have to set up rooms for it, and again, no one thought of me. Some of the people I'd call my best friends, and they don't think to ask if I'd like to room with them. One friend of mine was bemoaning her lack of a room, because someone else reneged on a promise, and I said, "You could room with me!" and three seconds later, she was saying, "I don't have a room, oh, what to do, woe is me!"

THAT HURT, OK??? And maybe it seems like I'm overreacting but I don't feel like it. Because this is this whole year for me.

I'm always left out.
I'm always asking, "What's going on? What's exciting?"
I'm not anyone's first choice.

And on most days, like today, I feel like no one cares about me.

No one would notice
                                      if
                                            I
                                                  was...
                                                                gone.

And for the girl who loves people, who wants to help everyone, who craves friendship and companionship and love, that hurts.

This year is killing me, little by little.

Hopefully next year will be better.... :(