Once again, I'm coming to you when I ought to be reading things for a class, but Imma have a fangirl second and share with y'all some of my current obsessions. Ava's Demon It's this really gorgeous webcomic
Filled with interesting characters
And a very compelling story. Read it. Also, I'm currently obsessed with this song
Lindsay Mendez is just EVERYTHING. I LOVE her. Also, this mini-musical. Feat. Lindsay Mendez again, opposite the AMAZING Anthony Ramos and written by Lin-Manuel Miranda (to whom I'll probably dedicate a post sometime)
Ok, bye. I just wanted to get it on record that I LOVE THESE THINGS.
So, first off, to accompany this post from a few days ago, about "At The Ballet" from A Chorus Line, there's this video that Rle found. It's a poor quality video with decent sound of the original cast performing the song, and it's incredible to watch. It's also neat to get more intro to the song, and why it happens. WATCH THIS.
Next, an update on my Midsummer Night's Dream life: at the end of rehearsal today, our director goes, "Oh, and I forgot to put it on the schedule for this week, when you're supposed to be off book-" I START TO PANIC INTERNALLY BECAUSE OFF-BOOK THIS WEEKIS NOT A THING- "and it's by Thursday, August 24, which is next Thursday." Okay, still terrifying, but manageable. I might make it. We'll see. And then there's this dream I had the other day that I told Rle about, and she thinks it's the funniest thing in the whole world, so I'm sharing- and because it's written, I get to make it seem really dramatic. Here goes! The dream opens and I'm in this dark, crowded room, music playing, and flashing lights, an almost club-like atmosphere. Everyone is dressed up, semi-formal. I'm with my cousin, Sep, when a cute blonde in a bold pink dress walks by, and he stops her- "Hey, do you think I could buy you something?" She says yes, and begins to walk quickly away, as Sep glances back over his shoulder at me, clearly excited about this girl. I don't think she's all that interested in him, she just wants the food. In the way of dreams, I am suddenly aware that the point of this crowded room is food- if you're a guy, to offer to buy some for a girl, if you're a girl, to hope a guy approaches you. The food could be a meal or dessert, that's not clear to me, but not important. As Sep walks away, I glance around again and become aware that I am with Rle. The two of us are waiting, hoping someone will approach us. Oddly, we're sitting on the ground. Apparently, there are no free tables, and we are too lazy to stand. Suddenly, a boy approaches; nice-looking, blonde, he offers to buy me food, and I accept. We walk over to the food line, waiting to order, I accidentally bump him once, then we get our food. In the way of dreams, I am suddenly aware that I am alone; it didn't work out with me and the boy (whether I thought he was a jerk or he thought I was too awkward, I'll never know). But at least he still bought me food. I begin to make my way back to where I left Rle sitting on the floor, but in our blank floorspace, there is a table with several chairs. Rle is sitting at it, with a boy and food. I joined them, with just my food. And that was the whole dream. Rle thought it was HILARIOUS. I guess it is. The funniest thing for me was retelling it to my sister, with Rle listening again, as I try to explain the concept of this place we were in: "I guess it was like dating, but condensed? The whole point was food, guys to buy it for girls, or girls to get offered... I'm not really sure, but that's what it was." And then my sister just goes, "So like, a bar for Mormons." Yes. That exactly. Nailed it. I guess that's the RandomSauce for today.... We'll see what else I manage to write about later.
So, my voice teacher, G.M. found this incredible performance of this AMAZING song from Chorus Line. A little background- Chorus Line is a musical about auditioning to be in the chorus line for a show, and as part of the auditions, the casting director asks each of the dancers to tell him something about themselves. That's when "At The Ballet" happens.
OK. So, I LOVE Audra McDonald, and I LOVE Kelli O'Hara, and I don't know Megan Hilty but I need to look into her more. And this song is just... WOW. I used to dance ballet. I danced for five years, and my sister danced for seven, and we only stopped because we moved to Podunk, where there weren't any good ballet schools. Usually, I'm fine, but watching this video- oh! that was it, exactly. Dancing was home, and it was beautiful. And at 4:50, when the music just swells, and then the dancers came out, I cried. I miss dancing, I do.
Also, I've since grown up into the most physically awkward person, but that's off-topic. Anyhow, so then I found two more things, the original cast recording and Seth Rudetsky. So here's the deal. The original cast doesn't sing as well as Audra and Megan and Kelli, but that's because they're DANCERS. And hearing the emotion in their voice is just incredible. And then Seth- he's this Broadway pianist who posts videos dissecting Broadway shows and songs and people, and everything he says about "At The Ballet" is just so cool, and it adds so much to the song, and the whole story. It's incredible.
original cast recording
Seth Rudetsky
And finally, I found this performance, of the original cast, fifteen years later. WATCHING them do it, and knowing what Seth said about the stories... It's wow.
the song starts 40 seconds in
I'm just obsessed with this song. It's beautiful and heartbreaking and everything. Yeah. I think that's it for today.
So, our choir program does a concert every year called Senior Solo where all the seniors get to perform- solos, duets, group numbers, whatever... It's always a ton of fun, and there are touching moments and silly ones and all sorts of things in between. Well, today was our Senior Solo concert, and I sang this:
This musical is INCREDIBLE (although language warning-- it's BAD.) But anyhow. I adore this song, and I realised it would be perfect for the senior-growing-up-and-moving-on type idea. Also, I identify with it, way too much-- I wrote about it in this post. Basically, I just feel like I'm always last choice, fading into the background, and that my friends, the people I adore, don't really care if I'm around. It's awful. So when I thought of "Before It's Over" for a senior solo song idea, I knew I HAD to do it. Even if no one else knew exactly how personal it was for me, I knew it had to happen. So I worked on it, and tonight I sang it, with a friend of mine, Lah, playing piano for me. I felt like it was alright, but not awesome- but then I received so many sincere compliments, telling me that I was wonderful (off-topic segue to another Dogfight song!), and I was sort of blown away. Two girls told me that it just got them, right from the first line- and that they almost cried. And they asked if I wrote it. Wow. That statement. I wish I could write music this powerful and moving! But that they thought I could, that I performed it that convincingly... Wow. Anyhow. I told them I didn't, and that it's from a musical, but they still seemed so impressed. And then I was telling my family about this conversation, and my mom said that it almost did seem like something I had written, at first. And I wish I could write like that. But the other thing is, that's an incredible compliment for me, because it makes me feel like I performed the song the right way. And even though people don't know that I really do identify with the character of Rose in this aspect, and that I really was singing about myself... They felt it. And I'm so pleased. And also somewhat astounded. Music is a powerful, beautiful, wonderful thing, and I am so grateful that I was able to share it, and have it mean something to my audience. :]
So, there is a musical called the Bridges of Madison County, and there is this INCREDIBLE song in it called "Almost Real." It was introduced to me by my voice teacher, G.M. I'm obsessed with it.
It's an absolutely stunning piece of music, and watching Kelli O'Hara sing it is amazing, because she is SO committed to the character, and there is so much emotion. Basically it's perfect. And also.... I can't get over this song, because it expressed something I couldn't- that is, the feeling of being not quite real, overshadowed by and compared to those around you. But this song did for me. In fact-earlier this month I wrote a poem about it... So, here is my
Almost Real
Almost real... What a feeling Or, more like a dream It's silently wishing When you want to scream And I didn't expect To find my story Or someone to connect In that girl from Napoli But I listened to her voice And I watched her sing And it wasn't my choice But I knew she was me! I was myself mirrored In the story she sang And saw myself clearer In that tragic refrain Almost real- when you live in shadows And never can compete When your friends are all heroes And you're the deadbeat You feel like you don't matter And you have to run away Before they see you shatter There has to be some place Where you won't be compared To them, you can just feel But it's too far to get there, To the dream of being real... And, forced to doubt yourself By the superior types You don't look for help Of any meaningful kind Because those closest to you Somehow make you feel small Like you could disappear And they wouldn't notice at all And so I understand 'Cesca And so I want to sing Her song of Italia Because it's also of me! And I know the desire, The horrible need, to feel Like you're significant: To be almost real Yeah. Wow, that's long. But it's how I feel, more often than I'd like. And why this song is everything to me. Plus, also, it's basically perfect.
