Where You Want Me To Go

IT CAME, IT   F I N A L L Y   CAME!

But before I talk about opening my call, I've gotta talk about some other things relating to the mission.

Like I talked about in this post back in April, I spent the past school year debating and fasting and praying about whether to go to college or to go on a mission this fall. And I eventually made the decision to go on a mission, and received confirmation that it was right for me.

So I excitedly began working on my paperwork, hoping to finish it quickly. I was hoping to have it done in May, and to leave in September, right after I turned 19, but then... Life has a way of doing things.

See, I have this old leg injury from the summer of 2012. Another girl and I kicked shins REALLY hard during a game of pick-up soccer. I had a pretty deep bruise, but it went away after a few weeks, and I felt fine. Then, towards the end of cross country season that year, my leg started to ache a little, right in that spot. But the season ended, and the ache went away. I wasn't able to run the next season, and my leg never bothered me. But last fall, 2014, I got to run again. I started running in July (pre-season conditioning!) and by the end of September, this pain in my leg was back with a vengeance. I ran through it all season, sitting out a couple of tough workouts and even one meet, and nothing we did fixed it. It hurt. BAD. We went to a doctor here in Myneton, who specialises in sports injuries, and he diagnosed it as a fascial tear, with nothing to be done but a tiny surgery, which he suggested postponing 'til summer. Throughout this year, random stuff, like walk/running around Disneyland for two days, would aggravate my leg again, and it would hurt. It was really frustrating, but I trusted the doctor and waited to schedule the procedure he said I needed.
But, back to this May, as I'm working on my papers, and we start getting all my medical worked out, my mom decides we should get a second opinion on my leg. The first week of June, we went to a clinic in Salt Lake City, the closest big(ish) city to Myneton. (fun fact of the day: Myneton is a small town in northeastern Nevada and Podunk is an even samller town in northern Utah. the move was fun....) The doctor there disagreed with the fascial tear diagnosis, saying that he didn't feel anything equivalent to that, and he called it something else. He gave me a prescription for an anti-inflammatory cream, told me to use it for a month, then start really running again, and get it aggravated up, then schedule an MRI and a follow-up with him.

So I did. Everything else with my papers was done, all my other medical, and I just needed this one old leg injury cleared. It was frustrating to me to watch the time slip closer and closer to September, when I wanted to be leaving. I spent all of June using this anti-inflammatory cream on my old injury, and then all of July running and playing Just Dance, and trying to get the impacts I needed to annoy this old injury. We finally got an MRI and an appointment scheduled in the middle of August:

The good news: I don't have cancer, it's no serious issue, and it's something that can be fixed. It is indeed his diagnosis of something else, which is basically just line level nineteen shin splints.

The bad news: the treatment is to leave it alone and hope it goes away (umm, it's been three years and one of those I didn't run, I don't think that's it...) or to do this crazy procedure where you basically cut the leg open, flay all the muscle off the bone, and let it put itself back. It heals better than it started. That procedure takes at least six months to recover from. (six months?? that's so long!!)

The best news: it shouldn't interfere with my going on a mission. Because what tends to aggravate my injury is high-impact stuff, running and whatnot, mission life should be fine. Walking, biking, no big deal, just no running or jogging. We decided to wait until after my mission to see if we need the surgery, and I got my last piece of medical clearance!

But now, in the middle of August, I faced a new dilemma. My big brother is supposed to be home from his mission in Mexico City at the end of October or beginning of November. I've seen a few people put their papers in, get a call two weeks later, and leave a month after that. If I got one of those, I would miss my brother by a week. And I struggled with what to do for my availability date.

My original plan had been to leave in September. Overlapping my big brother for a few months wouldn't have bothered me... But a week. A WEEK. I worked on finishing up my paperwork, and I debated my availability date. And I prayed.

And then, somewhere along the way, I thought of something. Almost five years ago, when we found out we'd have to move from Podunk, Utah, to Myneton, Nevada, I made the hymn "I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go" my life's motto. My parents had fasted and prayed, and they knew that it was right. So I trusted God. And of course, as I'd been working on my mission papers, the song had often been in mind. But as I wondered what to do about my availability date, I realised that it's not just about going where the Lord wants me, it's about going when He wants me. With that in mind, I put my date as September 9, the earliest I could with my summer job. My call can always come for a later date, but it can't come for an earlier one. So I put my trust in the Lord.

After interviewing with my bishop and my stake president, my papers got submitted to Salt Lake the first week of September. And the waiting began. In the meantime, we've found out that my brother is scheduled to be home October 17- a week earlier than we expected. BUT. He's also applied for an extension, because he's been called to train, and he wants to finish the full two transfers with his greenie. The extension would probably put him home in December.

And I'm waiting for my call. THEN. This Tuesday, the 22 of September, it finally came! We invited a bunch of my friends over, and got all my family and some long distance friends on skype and phone calls, and I opened my envelope and read:

Dear Sister Harris:

You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Germany Frankfurt Mission. It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 18 months.

You should report to the Provo Missionary Training Center on Wednesday, December 9, 2015. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the German language.

And I cried.
And I just... WOW. The Spirit I felt was overwhelming, confirming to me that this IS what I'm supposed to be doing, and this is when and where I'm supposed to be going.

And it's kinda crazy, because Germany has been the joke the whole time. I took three years of German during high school, and I did really well. My cousin Sep went German speaking, to Germany and Austria and Switzerland. And just this last weekend, we were in Utah for a family gathering, joking about if I went to Germany, and Sep says, "Hey, if you do, I can hand you a German Book of Mormon right now." My friends have teased me about it. But it's actually happening, and I KNOW that it's the right thing for me!

I am so excited to share my testimony of this Gospel and its light and truth with the people of Germany!
76 days. But who's counting? :)

At The Ballet

So, my voice teacher, G.M. found this incredible performance of this AMAZING song from Chorus Line.
A little background- Chorus Line is a musical about auditioning to be in the chorus line for a show, and as part of the auditions, the casting director asks each of the dancers to tell him something about themselves. That's when "At The Ballet" happens.

OK. So, I LOVE Audra McDonald, and I LOVE Kelli O'Hara, and I don't know Megan Hilty but I need to look into her more. And this song is just... WOW.

I used to dance ballet. I danced for five years, and my sister danced for seven, and we only stopped because we moved to Podunk, where there weren't any good ballet schools. Usually, I'm fine, but watching this video- oh! that was it, exactly. Dancing was home, and it was beautiful. And at 4:50, when the music just swells, and then the dancers came out, I cried. I miss dancing, I do.

Also, I've since grown up into the most physically awkward person, but that's off-topic.

Anyhow, so then I found two more things, the original cast recording and Seth Rudetsky. So here's the deal. The original cast doesn't sing as well as Audra and Megan and Kelli, but that's because they're DANCERS. And hearing the emotion in their voice is just incredible. And then Seth- he's this Broadway pianist who posts videos dissecting Broadway shows and songs and people, and everything he says about "At The Ballet" is just so cool, and it adds so much to the song, and the whole story. It's incredible.

original cast recording

Seth Rudetsky

And finally, I found this performance, of the original cast, fifteen years later. WATCHING them do it, and knowing what Seth said about the stories... It's wow.

the song starts 40 seconds in

I'm just obsessed with this song. It's beautiful and heartbreaking and everything.

Yeah. I think that's it for today.

Here I Go!

Well. I have a lot of feelings today, so a short post is in order.

After finally getting the last piece of medical clearance that I needed, I've submitted my mission paperwork online! On to the interviews. I AM SO HAPPY.

Also, I found this video today:

Which is AWESOME. And doubly cool because he served in the same mission as my older brother, and my bro had told me to look him up.

So I just have a lot of mission feelings. And I'm STOKED.

I STAND ALL AMAZED

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me,
Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me.
I tremble to know that for me he was crucified,
That for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died.
Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me
Enough to die for me!
Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!

I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine
To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine,
That he should extend his great love unto such as I,

Sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify. 
Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me
Enough to die for me!
Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!

I think of his hands pierced and bleeding to pay the debt.
Such mercy, such love and devotion can I forget?
No, no, I will praise and adore at the mercy seat,
Until at the glorified throne I kneel at his feet. 
Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me
Enough to die for me!
Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!

Text and music: Charles H. Gabriel, 1856-1932 

This is one of my absolute, very favourite hymns. Has been since I was about twelve, I think. It's so powerful and moving and absolutely true. This Sunday, I was privileged to attend a morningside by the BYU Young Ambassadors, about how God loves and knows each person individually. IT WAS AMAZING. The Spirit filled up that room like CRAZY! And they opened with an INCREDIBLE arrangement of this song. The morning side was exactly what I needed. :]

Books.

So, I have a problem. I get really attached to characters in books, and I get really upset on their behalf. Also excited. And basically everything else. Pretty much, I don't need a life because I live in fiction, in ink and pages.

You think I'm kidding, but I'm not.

I have a list of fictional characters that I'm in love with. I mean, I've written it down and everything- in no specific order, but I've done it. And it just keeps getting longer.

Classic case? The Bartimaeus Trilogy, by Jonathon Stroud. I've been in love with Nathaniel for... at least five years. And every time I reread the series, I fall for him again. Also, Kitty and Bartimaeus are all SORTS of awesome, a kick-butt girl and a smart-aleck djinni. EPIC. And OHMYGOODNESS. The ending of the series is SO perfect, but I honestly cried for two hours the first time I read it, and have cried every time since then. Absolutely fantastic books, though.

Recent offender? The Fault In Our Stars, by John Green. I discovered this book yesterday and devoured it, finished today. It's GORGEOUS, and it really makes you think about a lot of things, but it's also totally a tear-jerker. But then, it is a book about teen cancer patients, and life, and love, and everything. It's AMAZING. And Augustus Waters has been added to The List, totally. He's ADORABLE. But yeah, definitely a book I cried over. And will if-- actually, when, I read it again.

I'm honestly trying to figure out why it is that I get so attached to fictional people, why I can absolutely get lost in the world of a book and wish I could be there. In the meantime, if you care to join me, this is The List.

It's not complete. And it's not in order. And it's not even all the books I love. Just the characters I'm in love with from some of them. But all of these books are excellent!

THE LIST

Peter Pevensie------The Chronicles of Narnia, C.S. Lewis
Edmund Pevensie
Prince Caspian
Nathaniel------------The Bartimaeus Trilogy, Jonathon Stroud
Oskan---------------The Icemark Trilogy, Stuart Hale
Charlemagne
Gilbert Blythe-------The Anne of Green Gables Series, L.M. Montgomery
Walter Blythe
Jem Blythe
Ken Ford
Corlath--------------The Blue Sword, Robin McKinley
Geric----------------The Books of Bayern, Shannon Hale
Finn
Razo
Conrad
Howl-----------------Howl's Moving Castle series, Diana Wynne Jones
Michael
Abdullah
Peter
Ron Weasley---------The Harry Potter series, J.K. Rowling
Neville Longbottom
Viktor Krum
Twig-----------------The Edge Chronicles, Paul Steward and Chris Riddell
Quint
Rook
Nate
Peder----------------The Princess Academy, Shannon Hale
Steffan
Nico Di Angelo--------The Percy Jackson Series, Rick Riordan
Leo Valdez
Frank Zhang
Percy Jackson
Jason Grace
Magnus Bane---------The Mortal Instruments series, Cassandra Clare
Jace Wayland
Simon Lewis
Augustus Waters-----The Fault In Our Stars, John Green


Ummm.... That's about all for now. But yeah. If you don't read, you SHOULD. Books are magic!