I just feel the need to come back to this pet project of mine.
It's been a while.
Hi.
Did I mention before my silence that I was going to serve as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? I did that. I lived in Germany for 18 months and I fell in love with the whole world.
And then I came home to my family freefall of summer and life has been insane.
And I moved from Myneton this last week to start university. First day of class is tomorrow. I have a bassoon lesson and choir. :)
And I want to come back to this free space of writing and sharing thoughts with a nonexistent audience. Perhaps someday more people will be here.
But for now, it's just thoughts, really.
Showing posts with label choirnerd. Show all posts
Showing posts with label choirnerd. Show all posts
Monday, September 4, 2017
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Before It's Over
So, our choir program does a concert every year called Senior Solo where all the seniors get to perform- solos, duets, group numbers, whatever... It's always a ton of fun, and there are touching moments and silly ones and all sorts of things in between.
Well, today was our Senior Solo concert, and I sang this:
This musical is INCREDIBLE (although language warning-- it's BAD.) But anyhow. I adore this song, and I realised it would be perfect for the senior-growing-up-and-moving-on type idea. Also, I identify with it, way too much-- I wrote about it in this post. Basically, I just feel like I'm always last choice, fading into the background, and that my friends, the people I adore, don't really care if I'm around. It's awful. So when I thought of "Before It's Over" for a senior solo song idea, I knew I HAD to do it. Even if no one else knew exactly how personal it was for me, I knew it had to happen.
So I worked on it, and tonight I sang it, with a friend of mine, Lah, playing piano for me. I felt like it was alright, but not awesome- but then I received so many sincere compliments, telling me that I was wonderful (off-topic segue to another Dogfight song!), and I was sort of blown away. Two girls told me that it just got them, right from the first line- and that they almost cried. And they asked if I wrote it.
Wow.
That statement. I wish I could write music this powerful and moving! But that they thought I could, that I performed it that convincingly...
Wow.
Anyhow. I told them I didn't, and that it's from a musical, but they still seemed so impressed. And then I was telling my family about this conversation, and my mom said that it almost did seem like something I had written, at first.
And I wish I could write like that.
But the other thing is, that's an incredible compliment for me, because it makes me feel like I performed the song the right way. And even though people don't know that I really do identify with the character of Rose in this aspect, and that I really was singing about myself... They felt it.
And I'm so pleased.
And also somewhat astounded.
Music is a powerful, beautiful, wonderful thing, and I am so grateful that I was able to share it, and have it mean something to my audience. :]
Well, today was our Senior Solo concert, and I sang this:
This musical is INCREDIBLE (although language warning-- it's BAD.) But anyhow. I adore this song, and I realised it would be perfect for the senior-growing-up-and-moving-on type idea. Also, I identify with it, way too much-- I wrote about it in this post. Basically, I just feel like I'm always last choice, fading into the background, and that my friends, the people I adore, don't really care if I'm around. It's awful. So when I thought of "Before It's Over" for a senior solo song idea, I knew I HAD to do it. Even if no one else knew exactly how personal it was for me, I knew it had to happen.
So I worked on it, and tonight I sang it, with a friend of mine, Lah, playing piano for me. I felt like it was alright, but not awesome- but then I received so many sincere compliments, telling me that I was wonderful (off-topic segue to another Dogfight song!), and I was sort of blown away. Two girls told me that it just got them, right from the first line- and that they almost cried. And they asked if I wrote it.
Wow.
That statement. I wish I could write music this powerful and moving! But that they thought I could, that I performed it that convincingly...
Wow.
Anyhow. I told them I didn't, and that it's from a musical, but they still seemed so impressed. And then I was telling my family about this conversation, and my mom said that it almost did seem like something I had written, at first.
And I wish I could write like that.
But the other thing is, that's an incredible compliment for me, because it makes me feel like I performed the song the right way. And even though people don't know that I really do identify with the character of Rose in this aspect, and that I really was singing about myself... They felt it.
And I'm so pleased.
And also somewhat astounded.
Music is a powerful, beautiful, wonderful thing, and I am so grateful that I was able to share it, and have it mean something to my audience. :]
Monday, May 4, 2015
HELP.
Short post, ready go! So, here's the deal:
The AP Psychology test is this afternoon, and AP Calculus is tomorrow.
I have Choir Festival this afternoon, after Psych.
Next Monday is the choir concert, Tuesday is the AP Government test, and our jazz band concert.
Here's the kicker:
I missed Thursday and Friday last week because of Small-School All-State Band (bassoon, YAY!).
I missed last Monday because of Band Festival.
I missed the Monday and Tuesday before that for all-day rehearsals for our school musical (I was playing keyboard in the pit).
I missed Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday before that for All-State Choir.
When I signed up for these AP classes, I didn't realise I'd be missing the three weeks immediately preceding them for all these other extra-curricular shenanigans. YIKES.
SO... I'm a little stressed. This is gonna be an adventure.
The AP Psychology test is this afternoon, and AP Calculus is tomorrow.
I have Choir Festival this afternoon, after Psych.
Next Monday is the choir concert, Tuesday is the AP Government test, and our jazz band concert.
Here's the kicker:
I missed Thursday and Friday last week because of Small-School All-State Band (bassoon, YAY!).
I missed last Monday because of Band Festival.
I missed the Monday and Tuesday before that for all-day rehearsals for our school musical (I was playing keyboard in the pit).
I missed Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday before that for All-State Choir.
When I signed up for these AP classes, I didn't realise I'd be missing the three weeks immediately preceding them for all these other extra-curricular shenanigans. YIKES.
SO... I'm a little stressed. This is gonna be an adventure.
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Home, Sweet Home!
Orlando was a fantastic trip, everybody! Although, I've spent the last two days recuperating just a little bit... XD
Our men's, women's, and concert choirs received Silver awards, which means we scored between 80 and 89- very good.
And by some miracle, show choir received a Gold, a score between 90 and 100! We were thrilled!
And of course, we got to do a lot of cool things and generally just rock on.
A few of my favourite pictures and memories:
Our men's, women's, and concert choirs received Silver awards, which means we scored between 80 and 89- very good.
And by some miracle, show choir received a Gold, a score between 90 and 100! We were thrilled!
And of course, we got to do a lot of cool things and generally just rock on.
A few of my favourite pictures and memories:
Lee Chapel at Stetson University. The acoustics in here are AMAZING, and we got to sing here!
The entryway into the Island of Adventure park at Universal Studios.
The Onceler's house and the Lorax, in Suess Landing!
A shot of Hogwarts, in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter!
The inside of Honeyduke's, in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter!
The First United Methodist Church, where our competition was. Gorgeous! And the acoustics were stellar!
The "beautiful" sand mermaid we made at Cocoa Beach.
One of my friends, with a whole lot of sass.
This sign, in the line for the safari in the Animal Kingdom at Disneyworld. My friends and I laughed... And also ran away. ;)
Mickey, the Sorcerer's Apprentice, in Epcot! One of my favourite scenes from Fantasia.
Also, that song is a bassoon duet, so... :D
The Tower of Terror, one of my favourite rides. AWESOME.
I GOT TO BE IN TATOOINE. :D
Sorry, if this is any bigger, it looks awful...
A shot of the castle during the light show.
The castle at the finale of the fireworks show.
Alice in Wonderland with the Cheshire cat during the light parade.
Rapunzel's tower in Fantasyland!
And, finally, the castle during the daytime.
This trip was AMAZING, and I made some FANTASTIC memories... And had a great time. But I'm happy to be back in Myneton. :]
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
This Is Going Well...
Today was... A day.
I'm in the big choir at my school, and we're leaving on Wednesday for a competition in Orlando, Florida.
However, as a choir, I don't feel like we're ready for this competition... It's gonna be sort of an adventure.
But this is about today in my choir class. My teacher basically lectured the alto section (my section) about the "power struggle" we're apparently having and over-singing and how no one person can carry the section and it has to be a team effort, and that we better figure ourselves out. She also said that she wouldn't single anyone out in front of the choir, but she WOULD set up a meeting at a later date with the offending student(s) and their parents.
Maybe this doesn't seem like a big deal, but to me it was
I'm in the big choir at my school, and we're leaving on Wednesday for a competition in Orlando, Florida.
We'll also be doing an exchange concert at Stetson University,
eating dinner at Medieval Times,
going to Universal Studios with a parkhopper pass to include Islands of Adventure
AND The Wizarding World Of Harry Potter,
Kennedy Space Center,
Cocoa Beach and Ron Jon's,
and Disneyworld, with parkhopper passes to include the Animal Kingdom
and Epcot. It's gonna be pretty cool!
 |
| Also, Elsa and Anna will be in Switzerland every two hours... :D |
But this is about today in my choir class. My teacher basically lectured the alto section (my section) about the "power struggle" we're apparently having and over-singing and how no one person can carry the section and it has to be a team effort, and that we better figure ourselves out. She also said that she wouldn't single anyone out in front of the choir, but she WOULD set up a meeting at a later date with the offending student(s) and their parents.
Pause.
Maybe this doesn't seem like a big deal, but to me it was
HUGE.
Music means more to me than almost anything in the world, and I take it very seriously. And my director's comments worry me because I am LOUD. And I know that. And I know that sometimes I have a problem with oversinging... But I work very hard not to, and I don't think I have been... But I can't always tell.
And according to our director, there's also animosity in the also section, and that shows in the way we sing... I guess we all secretly hate each other or something? I dunno... It bums me out, because I honestly like all the girls in my section- they're AWESOME.
But, the thing is, I've already had problems this year... Been called into the director's office once and lectured... I left in tears. It was pretty stupid actually, a misunderstanding with my section leaders that they felt they needed to talk to our director about instead of resolving it with me.
So I'm worried that our director thinks I want to be section leader, and I don't respect my section leaders, and that I oversing. I'm worried I'm one of the problems in my section. And that TERRIFIES me. And I left that class this afternoon almost in tears, because I'm that worried.
And this was all compounded by show choir rehearsal this afternoon. She was getting on a group of us for singing a note wrong, and the whole time she was staring directly at me, because I was wrong two weeks ago. But I've fixed it! And I know I'm singing it right!
So I think I'm on the Bad List this year, and I'm so worried... Because she's kicked people out of choir before... And it would absolutely devestate me if that happened. Eeek.
On the plus side, Florida! ... Ha. :/
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
2014??
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I guess that means it's time for the mandatory looking-back-on-the-old-year-post, so here it is. For me, 2013 was...
Crazy. Ha.
January
-The first real tragedy in my life, when a friend of mine committed suicide on the 2. He was 16.
-I received a poem and a confession and because of that...
-I took a big chance, opening up my heart to Tak, really putting myself out there. And then for the whole month of January, he was on-again-off-again-so-confusing-I-didn't-know-what-was-happening, and that hurt a lot...
-I was sick the whole month. In addition to the emotional crap going down.
February
-I stopped wanting to cry all the time.
-Things were looking up, as far as Tak was concerned
-I got asked to Prom
-I got my first bouquet of roses
-Trips to Reno and Vegas with my friends, because we played in the pep band for our basketball team, that were absolutely amazing... Also the first time Tak and I held hands... But it triggered
-The first real fight I've ever gotten in... Rle and I didn't speak for a week. And it took us months to work out the resulting backlash.
March
-Started out awesomely with Tak, less awesomely with Rle and my sister because I was dumb
-Went to Prom, had a blast
-Figured myself and Rle out... Sorta.
April
-Trip with our choir to San Francisco for a competition, we kicked butt and had a blast... Partied it up with some friends and my big brother!
-My big bro and Rle went to All-State Choir.... I didn't make it, so I hung out that weekend with Mec and Tak and my sister
-School musical, lots of FUN! Tak bought me flowers....
May
-The beginning of the end... Or how I viewed it.
-Band festival, choir festival, band concert, choir concert, jazz band concert... Eating out after jazz band, Tak and me... Big brother? Not happy. Eek.
-Me and Tak and Ael went and saw the Great Gatsby, Tak and me made it official- my first boyfriend, and then he kissed me! Another first... :) I still owe Ael dinner coz she's the best friend/3rd wheel/crazy matchmaker EVER.
June
-Graduation. Yikes. I have WAYYY too many senior friends.
-Went to dinner with Tak's family... Met his grandparents... Intimidating.
-Girls' Camp. Which was a huge deal for me this year, because it's when I realised I didn't know anymore, didn't have a testimony, didn't ever feel the Spirit anymore.... Somewhere along the line, I'd fallen off the wayside. So I decided to figure out if the Church was true or not, for SURE.
-Started running, training for XC in the fall
July
-Youth Conference! I knew I had a testimony of temple work and the Book of Mormon. Just those two things. But I knew the rest would come.
-BOM the Summer! I read twelve pages in the Book of Mormon every day. It was intense. And incredible. I found my faith again.
-Hanging out with my dad's side of the family, which is always a blast
-Adventures with Tak, Ael, my sister, Rle, Mec, Rag... It's summer, and it's lovely!
-Somewhere in there he kissed me again...
August
-BAND. CAMP.
-Got to spend a week with my best friend since I was three, Sav. And that was way better than anything else! It was AWESOME!
-Hanging with Mec and Tak before they left for college... I was still in denial.
-The last two times he kissed me.
-And finally, my first breakup. Because we didn't want to kill ourselves and our friendship trying to make distance work, didn't want to put that kind of pressure on each other. Not gonna lie- I cried. But he didn't see it.
September
-School's in full swing again!
-I have to do paper routes every day, and it's exhausting...
-So much that I can't run cross country... Which is maybe even more depressing than breaking up with Tak, because at least I knew the breakup was the most likely outcome. Not running made me SAD.
-It's been five years this month since my grandma died of pancreatic cancer. Still not easy to deal with, really.
-But! Thanks to my newly refound testimony, I know I'll see her again. And it'll be ok. :]
October
-I'm still bummed about him... But trying to hide it.
-Band competitions!
-I figure out that I never should have let go of the Gospel. I know it's true. And I LOVE IT!
November
-We took state in marching band! Best thing, EVER!
-The odd realisation that Tak and I talk more that Mec, even though she's one of my best friends too... And I'm not even talking to Tak all that often. Weird....
-Honour Choir!
-Taking my big brother to the MTC, where he'll be learning Spanish before heading to Mexico City for his mission!
-We have the missionaries over, all the time, through the whole year, starting in the summer. And at this point, I'm realising exactly how instrumental they've all been in helping me find my faith again, and how much I love them for that!
-The only thing that's wrong, is the feeling that I've lost all the people closest to me... My big brother was one of my best friends, until the beginning of this year, then I let our relationship fall apart, coz I sorta stopped talking to him, didn't fill him in... Mec and Tak went to college. There was Syb, but she sorta went crazy in about February, Marchish, and hated me for no good reason. Which was sad.... And it just feels like Rle, Ael, and Rag always have at least two other people they'd rather talk to before me, or hang out with, or anything, really. I feel so alone. And it's AWFUL.
December
-I love the Christmas Season!
-Still haven't figured out what to do about my friends... Rle noticed and we talked about it... But it's not really getting better...
-I love the Gospel, also. I KNOW it's true!
-My brother leaves the MTC and is now in Mexico!
-I organise a Starbucks adventure with Tak, Mec, Buc, Anc, and Rle... And it's so freeing for me to realise that I really don't feel that way about Tak anymore!
-Christmas is AMAZING.
-I hang out with my family and get ready for the new year!
Wow. So there we are. It's a lot. It's kinda been a crappy year, honestly. There were some amazing parts, and some that were downright HORRID.
So here's hoping that 2014 is all sorts of better! :]
I guess that means it's time for the mandatory looking-back-on-the-old-year-post, so here it is. For me, 2013 was...
Crazy. Ha.
January
-The first real tragedy in my life, when a friend of mine committed suicide on the 2. He was 16.
-I received a poem and a confession and because of that...
-I took a big chance, opening up my heart to Tak, really putting myself out there. And then for the whole month of January, he was on-again-off-again-so-confusing-I-didn't-know-what-was-happening, and that hurt a lot...
-I was sick the whole month. In addition to the emotional crap going down.
February
-I stopped wanting to cry all the time.
-Things were looking up, as far as Tak was concerned
-I got asked to Prom
-I got my first bouquet of roses
-Trips to Reno and Vegas with my friends, because we played in the pep band for our basketball team, that were absolutely amazing... Also the first time Tak and I held hands... But it triggered
-The first real fight I've ever gotten in... Rle and I didn't speak for a week. And it took us months to work out the resulting backlash.
March
-Started out awesomely with Tak, less awesomely with Rle and my sister because I was dumb
-Went to Prom, had a blast
-Figured myself and Rle out... Sorta.
April
-Trip with our choir to San Francisco for a competition, we kicked butt and had a blast... Partied it up with some friends and my big brother!
-My big bro and Rle went to All-State Choir.... I didn't make it, so I hung out that weekend with Mec and Tak and my sister
-School musical, lots of FUN! Tak bought me flowers....
May
-The beginning of the end... Or how I viewed it.
-Band festival, choir festival, band concert, choir concert, jazz band concert... Eating out after jazz band, Tak and me... Big brother? Not happy. Eek.
-Me and Tak and Ael went and saw the Great Gatsby, Tak and me made it official- my first boyfriend, and then he kissed me! Another first... :) I still owe Ael dinner coz she's the best friend/3rd wheel/crazy matchmaker EVER.
June
-Graduation. Yikes. I have WAYYY too many senior friends.
-Went to dinner with Tak's family... Met his grandparents... Intimidating.
-Girls' Camp. Which was a huge deal for me this year, because it's when I realised I didn't know anymore, didn't have a testimony, didn't ever feel the Spirit anymore.... Somewhere along the line, I'd fallen off the wayside. So I decided to figure out if the Church was true or not, for SURE.
-Started running, training for XC in the fall
July
-Youth Conference! I knew I had a testimony of temple work and the Book of Mormon. Just those two things. But I knew the rest would come.
-BOM the Summer! I read twelve pages in the Book of Mormon every day. It was intense. And incredible. I found my faith again.
-Hanging out with my dad's side of the family, which is always a blast
-Adventures with Tak, Ael, my sister, Rle, Mec, Rag... It's summer, and it's lovely!
-Somewhere in there he kissed me again...
August
-BAND. CAMP.
-Got to spend a week with my best friend since I was three, Sav. And that was way better than anything else! It was AWESOME!
-Hanging with Mec and Tak before they left for college... I was still in denial.
-The last two times he kissed me.
-And finally, my first breakup. Because we didn't want to kill ourselves and our friendship trying to make distance work, didn't want to put that kind of pressure on each other. Not gonna lie- I cried. But he didn't see it.
September
-School's in full swing again!
-I have to do paper routes every day, and it's exhausting...
-So much that I can't run cross country... Which is maybe even more depressing than breaking up with Tak, because at least I knew the breakup was the most likely outcome. Not running made me SAD.
-It's been five years this month since my grandma died of pancreatic cancer. Still not easy to deal with, really.
-But! Thanks to my newly refound testimony, I know I'll see her again. And it'll be ok. :]
October
-I'm still bummed about him... But trying to hide it.
-Band competitions!
-I figure out that I never should have let go of the Gospel. I know it's true. And I LOVE IT!
November
-We took state in marching band! Best thing, EVER!
-The odd realisation that Tak and I talk more that Mec, even though she's one of my best friends too... And I'm not even talking to Tak all that often. Weird....
-Honour Choir!
-Taking my big brother to the MTC, where he'll be learning Spanish before heading to Mexico City for his mission!
-We have the missionaries over, all the time, through the whole year, starting in the summer. And at this point, I'm realising exactly how instrumental they've all been in helping me find my faith again, and how much I love them for that!
-The only thing that's wrong, is the feeling that I've lost all the people closest to me... My big brother was one of my best friends, until the beginning of this year, then I let our relationship fall apart, coz I sorta stopped talking to him, didn't fill him in... Mec and Tak went to college. There was Syb, but she sorta went crazy in about February, Marchish, and hated me for no good reason. Which was sad.... And it just feels like Rle, Ael, and Rag always have at least two other people they'd rather talk to before me, or hang out with, or anything, really. I feel so alone. And it's AWFUL.
December
-I love the Christmas Season!
-Still haven't figured out what to do about my friends... Rle noticed and we talked about it... But it's not really getting better...
-I love the Gospel, also. I KNOW it's true!
-My brother leaves the MTC and is now in Mexico!
-I organise a Starbucks adventure with Tak, Mec, Buc, Anc, and Rle... And it's so freeing for me to realise that I really don't feel that way about Tak anymore!
-Christmas is AMAZING.
-I hang out with my family and get ready for the new year!
Wow. So there we are. It's a lot. It's kinda been a crappy year, honestly. There were some amazing parts, and some that were downright HORRID.
So here's hoping that 2014 is all sorts of better! :]
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)