I am NOT doing my homework right now, as I ought.
BUT I GOT MY COMPUTER BACK.
Literally took it into the tech store, 15 minute fix.
And I've been working without it for two weeks because REASONS??
I'm the worst sometimes.
Tuesday, December 12, 2017
Tuesday, December 5, 2017
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
Ok, so my computer konked it just a few days after my last post,
and I've been living at the library to do homework.
Finals start NEXT SATURDAY.
UGGGGGGHHHH.
and I've been living at the library to do homework.
Finals start NEXT SATURDAY.
UGGGGGGHHHH.
Thursday, November 16, 2017
Audrey Hepburn Was Not An Actor
So my brother and I were talking, and just... this moment.
He was saying if he ever had reason to interview a celebrity, he'd love to ask someone like Tom Hanks, Hugh Jackman, what helped them have a successful career as an actress.
An actress?? I asked.
Sure, he said, because we're all about gender equality, right? So it shouldn't matter.
Yeah, but like, the accepted term is just actor for everyone.
But why? How come every time we go gender neutral we default back to the masculine word?
We debated that for a second- not always, we went from steward/ess to flight attendant, well maybe it's some convention of the English language, when distinguishing actors and actresses was common, would people have said a group of actors referring to both genders or would they have always clarified actors and actresses, no idea, ok, but this holds, we always default back to masculine- actors, waiters, etc...
And I'm arguing that it doesn't really matter, it's the accepted term for both genders now, and what's the big deal, and then he just says,
But think about it.
Audrey Hepburn was not an actor.
And man, that just hit me. Audrey Hepburn was not an actor. I had to repeat it. I had to let it sink in for a second.
And it just WOW. And he adds, Marilyn Monroe wasn't an actor either- and I'm like, shhh, shhhhhhh Audrey Hepburn was a way better role model. A quick reminder of all the EPIC stuff she did (yes, I'm paraphrasing Wikipedia here):
She was a British actress, model, dancer and humanitarian. Hepburn won a record three BAFTA Awards for Best British Actress in a Leading Role. She remains one of the 12 people who have won Academy, Emmy, Grammy and Tony Awards. She spoke multiple languages, grew up in Europe during WWII. Devoted much of her later life to UNICEF. She had contributed to the organisation since 1954, then worked in some of the poorest communities of Africa, South America and Asia between 1988 and 1992. She was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in recognition of her work as a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador in December 1992. A month later, Hepburn died of appendiceal cancer at her home in Switzerland at the age of 63.
Back to me and out of wiki here. Just wow. Audrey Hepburn was pretty much the BOMB. And she did so much stuff.
And she was not an actor.
And for some reason, that just hit me.
He was saying if he ever had reason to interview a celebrity, he'd love to ask someone like Tom Hanks, Hugh Jackman, what helped them have a successful career as an actress.
An actress?? I asked.
Sure, he said, because we're all about gender equality, right? So it shouldn't matter.
Yeah, but like, the accepted term is just actor for everyone.
But why? How come every time we go gender neutral we default back to the masculine word?
We debated that for a second- not always, we went from steward/ess to flight attendant, well maybe it's some convention of the English language, when distinguishing actors and actresses was common, would people have said a group of actors referring to both genders or would they have always clarified actors and actresses, no idea, ok, but this holds, we always default back to masculine- actors, waiters, etc...
And I'm arguing that it doesn't really matter, it's the accepted term for both genders now, and what's the big deal, and then he just says,
But think about it.
Audrey Hepburn was not an actor.
And man, that just hit me. Audrey Hepburn was not an actor. I had to repeat it. I had to let it sink in for a second.
And it just WOW. And he adds, Marilyn Monroe wasn't an actor either- and I'm like, shhh, shhhhhhh Audrey Hepburn was a way better role model. A quick reminder of all the EPIC stuff she did (yes, I'm paraphrasing Wikipedia here):
She was a British actress, model, dancer and humanitarian. Hepburn won a record three BAFTA Awards for Best British Actress in a Leading Role. She remains one of the 12 people who have won Academy, Emmy, Grammy and Tony Awards. She spoke multiple languages, grew up in Europe during WWII. Devoted much of her later life to UNICEF. She had contributed to the organisation since 1954, then worked in some of the poorest communities of Africa, South America and Asia between 1988 and 1992. She was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in recognition of her work as a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador in December 1992. A month later, Hepburn died of appendiceal cancer at her home in Switzerland at the age of 63.
Back to me and out of wiki here. Just wow. Audrey Hepburn was pretty much the BOMB. And she did so much stuff.
And she was not an actor.
And for some reason, that just hit me.
fin
Sunday, November 12, 2017
In Defense of Kindness
I just have to rant for half a second.
This week at work, we were at a meeting in the office, and our supervisor started telling us a story that went down with the missionaries that she and the other supervisors thought was absolutely hilarious. And everyone was laughing. (For the record, our supervisor is in her forties, and all my coworkers are other BYU students in their early twenties.) Anyhow, everyone's laughing at this, and then the piece de resistance is revealed- a piece of men's clothing was found in the women's residence lost and found.
Everyone's laughing, but for me, it wasn't really funny anymore- and it hadn't been that funny the whole time- so I said, "Oh, c'mon, that's just gotta be a laundry mix-up or something; someone left something in a dryer on accident..."
And one of my coworkers turned to me and said, "Oh, c'mon Rose, you gotta stop being so nice to people all the time!"
I was surprised- and I paused for a beat, before saying, "No, I refuse to. I will always give people the benefit of the doubt," but I don't think he was listening to me anymore.
And it bothered me.
My kindness is not weakness. I will always assume the best of other people- I would hope they'd do the same for me, but even if not. It is far too easy to be cruel, and far nobler to seek out and defend the good in the people around us.
I can be mean; I can tear people to shreds with my words. But I don't. And I do not see bravery or greatness in humour that exists purely at the expense of other people. I don't want to laugh at that or stand for that.
It is harder to be kind, to hold my tongue when a clever, rude remark is straining there. It is harder to not laugh when my peers don't see a problem with the joke. It is scarier to speak up in defense of those I don't know.
But I will continue to do so. I refuse to leave kindness behind when this world needs it so desperately.
My kindness is a choice.
My kindness is not a weakness.
My kindness will not fail.
This week at work, we were at a meeting in the office, and our supervisor started telling us a story that went down with the missionaries that she and the other supervisors thought was absolutely hilarious. And everyone was laughing. (For the record, our supervisor is in her forties, and all my coworkers are other BYU students in their early twenties.) Anyhow, everyone's laughing at this, and then the piece de resistance is revealed- a piece of men's clothing was found in the women's residence lost and found.
Everyone's laughing, but for me, it wasn't really funny anymore- and it hadn't been that funny the whole time- so I said, "Oh, c'mon, that's just gotta be a laundry mix-up or something; someone left something in a dryer on accident..."
And one of my coworkers turned to me and said, "Oh, c'mon Rose, you gotta stop being so nice to people all the time!"
I was surprised- and I paused for a beat, before saying, "No, I refuse to. I will always give people the benefit of the doubt," but I don't think he was listening to me anymore.
And it bothered me.
My kindness is not weakness. I will always assume the best of other people- I would hope they'd do the same for me, but even if not. It is far too easy to be cruel, and far nobler to seek out and defend the good in the people around us.
I can be mean; I can tear people to shreds with my words. But I don't. And I do not see bravery or greatness in humour that exists purely at the expense of other people. I don't want to laugh at that or stand for that.
It is harder to be kind, to hold my tongue when a clever, rude remark is straining there. It is harder to not laugh when my peers don't see a problem with the joke. It is scarier to speak up in defense of those I don't know.
But I will continue to do so. I refuse to leave kindness behind when this world needs it so desperately.
My kindness is a choice.
My kindness is not a weakness.
My kindness will not fail.
Wednesday, November 8, 2017
Soulmate AU
Well, this is gonna be an abrupt change from the last post, but I'm such a disaster I have to talk about it. But FIRST a little background.
Mel and Est and I have been talking about Soulmate AUs lately (AU= alternate universe). It's ideas about worlds where you have a soulmate and something indicates that. For example:
Mel and Est and I have been talking about Soulmate AUs lately (AU= alternate universe). It's ideas about worlds where you have a soulmate and something indicates that. For example:
-A tattoo of each others’ names on their wrist/palm/etc
-A tattoo of each others’ first words to one another
-A timer for when they shall first meet
-See colour for the first time when you meet, fades away when they die
- You stop aging at a certain age, until you meet your soulmate and grow old together.
- Songs sung by your soulmate is stuck in your head.
-Whenever you lose an item (like a sock), it ends up in your soulmates’ possession somehow
- Everyone receives a special accessory (hat, watch, necklace, bracelet, etc) that is exactly alike with their soulmate. Many people, when they meet their soulmate, like to swap theirs with the other.
- If you haven’t met your soulmate but have been in the same vicinity of each other (like passing each other on a street or in the same building), that day will keep repeating until you find each other.
Just things like that. We've been talking about them. That sets the scene for me today.
Time: 5:40
Place: the line for Chick-Fil-A
I have a class at 6 with my big brother, and I decided to buy us chocolate shakes before I get there. So I'm in line, headphones in, JAMMING out to "This Is Me" from The Greatest Showman OST (aside, this movie comes out in December and I AM SO STOKED FOR IT), and a person comes up behind me in the line. I can tell that I've been noticed (like, you know that feeling, when you're aware that another human is aware of you?), but I'm casually jammin' and about to order, so I don't do anything.
Well, fast forward approximately 45 seconds and I've ordered and he's ordered and then he starts talking to me- a silly debate about whether waiting for food or finishing food is worse, and we discussed the merits of Chick-Fil-A, and meanwhile my internal panic is slowly increasing because this guy is CUTE and he's talking to me and joking with me and WHAT, we trade names, he asks me what I'm doing at BYU (snarky me wanted to say, umm, studying?), I say planning on going into music ed, it's my first semester, so I'm still figuring life out, he goes, Oh, wow, first semester, welcome to BYU then! even though it's-wait is it December, it feels like December- and I'm laughing, no it's November, don't make it December yet!
And then they called my name up at the counter, I went up and got my food and legit SCURRIED away, saying, it was nice to meet you and panicking all the while.
And I mean bigtime. Stomach in knots. Hyperventilating. Took me like 15 minutes to calm down. But I still get butterflies if I think about it again.
Maybe I'm just bad at social. Probably I am bad at social. BUT THEN THERE'S THIS CRAZY PART OF ME
That's like, I should've chatted a minute longer, hung out for a second, asked him what he's doing, we could've talked about missions, it was an easy conversation and LIKE WHAT IF HE WAS MY SOULMATE AND I JUST RUINED IT.
Listen,
I don't believe in one single destined soulmate.
It's just all this talk of soulmate AUs has been running around, and I think it's getting to me.
Also, he made me laugh. Which was nice.
I'm a disaster.
Friday, November 3, 2017
Five Months and Two Days
I flew out of Frankfurt on June 1.
It's been five months and two days.
Simultaneously the longest and the shortest time period of my life.
I miss Germany every day. I think about all the incredible people I met. I see myself wandering down random streets. I hear the laughter of my companions. I crave the food. I miss it so much.
And at the same time, it seems like the CRAZIEST dream. I lived in Germany for a year and a half? I speak German? I've been to Cologne, Heidelberg, Duesseldorf? I lived in Frankfurt? I met people from all over the world, tried crazy foods, fell in love with a people and a culture, cried when I left?
That last one's true, at least. Flying out of Frankfurt, I'm sitting by the window, Elder Evans on my other side, and we're both staring desperately at the Frankfurt skyline, because we're leaving home behind, and I cried.
I lived in Essen for the first half of my mission.
Spent two-thirds of my remaining time in Kaiserslautern.
Went home from Frankfurt.
Essen, the industrial city, the Ruhrpott, the city I called heaven and claimed as mine the second I stepped foot there.
Kaiserslautern, with the American military presence. all the tiny Dorfs, the castles, the mountains, the town that ran me through the wringer.
Frankfurt, the big city, the business capital, the crowd, the diversity, the city I fell in love with just as I was leaving.
There are so many things I could say, and so many people I should mention. But I just don't even know where to start.
Sister Sant, my angel trainer. Sister Whicker, my soul sister. Sister Tait, my tiny spitfire.
Sister Luymes, the drumbreak. Sister Hall, the refiner.
Sister Griffen, das Vorbild.
Akmal. Steven. William. Emmanuel. Nana. Ugbayas. Palvin. Jane. Lucky. Alexander. Bagawathsings. Farzad.
Nasar. Moustafa. Abubahka. Baha. Toni. Selam. Hewit. Stanke.
Jan. Abigail. Steven. Dave. Eyob. Richard. Moheeb.
Linneman. Neu. Dietz. Dirzus. Tewes. Danilakiis. Curth. Gabriel. Blome. Wieker. Schmidt.
Baader. Cruse. Jenny. Gardner. Hack. Oberlies.
Johnson. Kearon. Markle. Kirk. Giada. Silva. Santos.
Essen, Dortmund, Oberhausen, Muelheim, Duesseldorf, Herne, Bochum. Ruhrpott Deutsch.
Kaiserlautern, Pirmasens, Heidelberg, Ramstein, Landstuhl, Frankenstein, Neidenfels. Pfaelsisch.
Frankfurt, Darmstadt, Wiesbaden. Hessisch.
I would go back in a heartbeat. Every day was a gift and a blessing, even the ones that were so hard. Every person was a joy. Every rainstorm, green hill, castle, Dorf, Bratwurst, grey day. Every ward I served in. Every member I met.
I love them. I miss them.
It's been five months and two days.
It's been five months and two days.
Simultaneously the longest and the shortest time period of my life.
I miss Germany every day. I think about all the incredible people I met. I see myself wandering down random streets. I hear the laughter of my companions. I crave the food. I miss it so much.
And at the same time, it seems like the CRAZIEST dream. I lived in Germany for a year and a half? I speak German? I've been to Cologne, Heidelberg, Duesseldorf? I lived in Frankfurt? I met people from all over the world, tried crazy foods, fell in love with a people and a culture, cried when I left?
That last one's true, at least. Flying out of Frankfurt, I'm sitting by the window, Elder Evans on my other side, and we're both staring desperately at the Frankfurt skyline, because we're leaving home behind, and I cried.
I lived in Essen for the first half of my mission.
Spent two-thirds of my remaining time in Kaiserslautern.
Went home from Frankfurt.
Essen, the industrial city, the Ruhrpott, the city I called heaven and claimed as mine the second I stepped foot there.
Kaiserslautern, with the American military presence. all the tiny Dorfs, the castles, the mountains, the town that ran me through the wringer.
Frankfurt, the big city, the business capital, the crowd, the diversity, the city I fell in love with just as I was leaving.
There are so many things I could say, and so many people I should mention. But I just don't even know where to start.
Sister Sant, my angel trainer. Sister Whicker, my soul sister. Sister Tait, my tiny spitfire.
Sister Luymes, the drumbreak. Sister Hall, the refiner.
Sister Griffen, das Vorbild.
Akmal. Steven. William. Emmanuel. Nana. Ugbayas. Palvin. Jane. Lucky. Alexander. Bagawathsings. Farzad.
Nasar. Moustafa. Abubahka. Baha. Toni. Selam. Hewit. Stanke.
Jan. Abigail. Steven. Dave. Eyob. Richard. Moheeb.
Linneman. Neu. Dietz. Dirzus. Tewes. Danilakiis. Curth. Gabriel. Blome. Wieker. Schmidt.
Baader. Cruse. Jenny. Gardner. Hack. Oberlies.
Johnson. Kearon. Markle. Kirk. Giada. Silva. Santos.
Essen, Dortmund, Oberhausen, Muelheim, Duesseldorf, Herne, Bochum. Ruhrpott Deutsch.
Kaiserlautern, Pirmasens, Heidelberg, Ramstein, Landstuhl, Frankenstein, Neidenfels. Pfaelsisch.
Frankfurt, Darmstadt, Wiesbaden. Hessisch.
I would go back in a heartbeat. Every day was a gift and a blessing, even the ones that were so hard. Every person was a joy. Every rainstorm, green hill, castle, Dorf, Bratwurst, grey day. Every ward I served in. Every member I met.
I love them. I miss them.
It's been five months and two days.
Tuesday, October 31, 2017
Halloween, Nevada Day, and 500
Today is a cool day, errybody. Pay attention.
Halloween
Is a huge amusement to me every year. It was so fun to see everyone dressing up. We saw everything from princesses to James from Team Rocket to the university lawn to Star Wars characters and generic scary costumes and everything in between and it was incredible. There's something really wonderful about people so unabashedly being themselves and showing what they love.
Also, my costume of Sophie, from Howl's Moving Castle, was a rousing success- I was recognised and complimented and someone asked to take a picture of me and people were generally very excited about it, which was so much fun for me. :) Also, a few people exclaimed that I looked just like her, which was cool.
I just flippin' love Halloween. It's so much fun!
Nevada Day
Home means Nevada to me. Battle Born. Today is the day that Nevada became a state on October 31, 1864. Right there in the middle of the Civil War. We're pretty hardcore. And I guess this means I'm starting and ending this month with Nevada, but this time on a much better note. It's such a great thing to live in a state that celebrates its heritage so hard- state holiday, Friday off, parades and celebrations. It means so much to me to hail from a place that knows where it came from and celebrates that!
500
Years ago today, Martin Luther nailed those 95 theses to the door and kicked off the Reformation. I was on my mission in Germany during the beginning of this year, and let me tell you what, they were so HYPED about it. Books on Luther and copies of the Luther Bible and a new edition and all sorts of things everywhere and everyone has been talking about it all year. And they celebrated today! People all around the world did, because the Reformation is so important to so many people's faiths and stories and the general progress of the world.
Especially important is for me, is that this was one of many events that paved the way for the Restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and His true church, and that's why I'm here. And basically every good thing in my life stems from that.
So, basically, today was the bomb. :)
Halloween
Is a huge amusement to me every year. It was so fun to see everyone dressing up. We saw everything from princesses to James from Team Rocket to the university lawn to Star Wars characters and generic scary costumes and everything in between and it was incredible. There's something really wonderful about people so unabashedly being themselves and showing what they love.
Also, my costume of Sophie, from Howl's Moving Castle, was a rousing success- I was recognised and complimented and someone asked to take a picture of me and people were generally very excited about it, which was so much fun for me. :) Also, a few people exclaimed that I looked just like her, which was cool.
I just flippin' love Halloween. It's so much fun!
Nevada Day
Home means Nevada to me. Battle Born. Today is the day that Nevada became a state on October 31, 1864. Right there in the middle of the Civil War. We're pretty hardcore. And I guess this means I'm starting and ending this month with Nevada, but this time on a much better note. It's such a great thing to live in a state that celebrates its heritage so hard- state holiday, Friday off, parades and celebrations. It means so much to me to hail from a place that knows where it came from and celebrates that!
500
Years ago today, Martin Luther nailed those 95 theses to the door and kicked off the Reformation. I was on my mission in Germany during the beginning of this year, and let me tell you what, they were so HYPED about it. Books on Luther and copies of the Luther Bible and a new edition and all sorts of things everywhere and everyone has been talking about it all year. And they celebrated today! People all around the world did, because the Reformation is so important to so many people's faiths and stories and the general progress of the world.
Especially important is for me, is that this was one of many events that paved the way for the Restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and His true church, and that's why I'm here. And basically every good thing in my life stems from that.
So, basically, today was the bomb. :)
Monday, October 30, 2017
Meddling in Mediocrity
Uni.
I am staring in the face of my own averageness.
The end.
....
Ok, but really. I grew up in small towns. I was brilliant. I was a good singer. I was in the band. I was Mormon. I ran cross country. I stood out. I had an identity.
And now I'm at BYU. And suddenly, none of that stands out anymore. I am average. I'm one of over 30,000 students who are 97% Mormon. I'm one of several hundred choirs. I'm struggling to keep up with my course load and dealing with the fact that this is way more competitive than anything I've ever done.
I don't stand out.
And this past week, that's been killing me a little bit. It's hard to adjust so completely into the ensemble and still be someone. I have to figure out what I'm doing and how to matter.
And I don't know how to do that right now.
So I'm meddling in mediocrity and trying to survive.
I am staring in the face of my own averageness.
The end.
....
Ok, but really. I grew up in small towns. I was brilliant. I was a good singer. I was in the band. I was Mormon. I ran cross country. I stood out. I had an identity.
And now I'm at BYU. And suddenly, none of that stands out anymore. I am average. I'm one of over 30,000 students who are 97% Mormon. I'm one of several hundred choirs. I'm struggling to keep up with my course load and dealing with the fact that this is way more competitive than anything I've ever done.
I don't stand out.
And this past week, that's been killing me a little bit. It's hard to adjust so completely into the ensemble and still be someone. I have to figure out what I'm doing and how to matter.
And I don't know how to do that right now.
So I'm meddling in mediocrity and trying to survive.
Sunday, October 22, 2017
Sunday Morning
It's chill, it's cool.
In things worth note.
GrandmaH and GrandpaH have set a goal to attend every temple in Utah- there are currently seventeen- and to make this happen, we're having a family temple day on the third Saturday of every month. Everyone who can come is invited. So yesterday was the first go, and we went to the Provo City Center Temple. GrandmaH and GrandpaH were of course there, and Est and Zap came to do baptisms and hang out, big brother and I also made it for the session, and we were joined by our cousin Cer and his girlfriend Ver.
Provo City Center is new- opened while I was on my mission, and I'd never been, and WOW is it gorgeous. I love being in the house of the Lord.
And it was extra special to me to be going through with people I love and care about so much. What was particularly interesting for me this time was things I've learned in my German culture and history class and in my Book of Mormon class that really coloured my temple experience. I'm learning to think so much more deeply about everything that happens, everything I learn, to look for symbolism in it all. I have so much to learn.
And a cool thought from my Book of Mormon teacher. He told us a story of attending a sealing, how they were waiting on the sealer, and he was looking around thinking how beautiful it all was, then the sealer walked in and said, "Brothers and sisters, welcome to the temple."
He went on to explain how he'd recently been back to visit the Holy Land, and briefly shared some of his experiences. "It is a holy thing to walk where Jesus walked," he said, "but it is a holier thing to walk where He walks."
"Brothers and sisters, welcome to the temple."
I've been thinking about that all week. And it was wonderful to be in the temple.
We finished up the day with lunch at a great pizza place, TwoJack's (10/10, would recommend), where we were joined by our cousin Taw and her year-old baby Saw. That brought the party up to 10, and it was just a good old time. We ended up discussing funny stories about spicy things that we'd experienced, mostly from the mission. My brother went to Mexico, where EVERYTHING is spicy, Cer went to Russia, where nothing is, my Germany is likewise, and Ver was just glad she'd been in Colorado where such spicy things didn't happen. Est had a really good one that involved her little brother Set and a spicy chicken wings challenge. I just love my cousins so much, and it is so wonderful to spend time with them.
After parting ways, I dragged the brother, Zap, and Est, on a thrift shopping adventure with me, as I was searching the perfect articles of clothing to make up a Halloween costume of Sophie, from Howl's Moving Castle. Studio Ghibli is my favourite. This costume is important because I actually have things to wear it for- a work party, a concert my sister is in, Halloween itself. I'm stoked.
In other things, Est and our roommate Mel, started this club, Barnacle Cobra, a while ago, where once a week we eat dinner in the elevator in our residence hall. This week, as part of our efforts to introduce Mel to the wonders of Studio Ghibli (we did Howl's Moving Castle at Aunt Jo and Uncle Ro's house a few weeks ago), we added a movie to our elevator dinner- Whisper of the Heart. Zap also joined us- it was a regular party. We finished the film back in our apartment, but MAN, do I love Whisper of the Heart. It is, quite possibly, the cutest movie in the world.
Also, I got a calling this week- I should be sustained and set apart today, and I'm super excited. Also, church starts in two hours and I haven't eaten breakfast or got dressed yet, so I should maybe get a move on.
Bis spaeter!
In things worth note.
GrandmaH and GrandpaH have set a goal to attend every temple in Utah- there are currently seventeen- and to make this happen, we're having a family temple day on the third Saturday of every month. Everyone who can come is invited. So yesterday was the first go, and we went to the Provo City Center Temple. GrandmaH and GrandpaH were of course there, and Est and Zap came to do baptisms and hang out, big brother and I also made it for the session, and we were joined by our cousin Cer and his girlfriend Ver.
Provo City Center is new- opened while I was on my mission, and I'd never been, and WOW is it gorgeous. I love being in the house of the Lord.
And it was extra special to me to be going through with people I love and care about so much. What was particularly interesting for me this time was things I've learned in my German culture and history class and in my Book of Mormon class that really coloured my temple experience. I'm learning to think so much more deeply about everything that happens, everything I learn, to look for symbolism in it all. I have so much to learn.
And a cool thought from my Book of Mormon teacher. He told us a story of attending a sealing, how they were waiting on the sealer, and he was looking around thinking how beautiful it all was, then the sealer walked in and said, "Brothers and sisters, welcome to the temple."
He went on to explain how he'd recently been back to visit the Holy Land, and briefly shared some of his experiences. "It is a holy thing to walk where Jesus walked," he said, "but it is a holier thing to walk where He walks."
"Brothers and sisters, welcome to the temple."
I've been thinking about that all week. And it was wonderful to be in the temple.
We finished up the day with lunch at a great pizza place, TwoJack's (10/10, would recommend), where we were joined by our cousin Taw and her year-old baby Saw. That brought the party up to 10, and it was just a good old time. We ended up discussing funny stories about spicy things that we'd experienced, mostly from the mission. My brother went to Mexico, where EVERYTHING is spicy, Cer went to Russia, where nothing is, my Germany is likewise, and Ver was just glad she'd been in Colorado where such spicy things didn't happen. Est had a really good one that involved her little brother Set and a spicy chicken wings challenge. I just love my cousins so much, and it is so wonderful to spend time with them.
After parting ways, I dragged the brother, Zap, and Est, on a thrift shopping adventure with me, as I was searching the perfect articles of clothing to make up a Halloween costume of Sophie, from Howl's Moving Castle. Studio Ghibli is my favourite. This costume is important because I actually have things to wear it for- a work party, a concert my sister is in, Halloween itself. I'm stoked.
In other things, Est and our roommate Mel, started this club, Barnacle Cobra, a while ago, where once a week we eat dinner in the elevator in our residence hall. This week, as part of our efforts to introduce Mel to the wonders of Studio Ghibli (we did Howl's Moving Castle at Aunt Jo and Uncle Ro's house a few weeks ago), we added a movie to our elevator dinner- Whisper of the Heart. Zap also joined us- it was a regular party. We finished the film back in our apartment, but MAN, do I love Whisper of the Heart. It is, quite possibly, the cutest movie in the world.
Also, I got a calling this week- I should be sustained and set apart today, and I'm super excited. Also, church starts in two hours and I haven't eaten breakfast or got dressed yet, so I should maybe get a move on.
Bis spaeter!
Wednesday, October 18, 2017
PROcrastination
Once again, I'm coming to you when I ought to be reading things for a class, but Imma have a fangirl second and share with y'all some of my current obsessions.
Ava's Demon
It's this really gorgeous webcomic
And a very compelling story. Read it.
Also, I'm currently obsessed with this song
Lindsay Mendez is just EVERYTHING. I LOVE her.
Also, this mini-musical. Feat. Lindsay Mendez again, opposite the AMAZING Anthony Ramos and written by Lin-Manuel Miranda (to whom I'll probably dedicate a post sometime)
Ok, bye. I just wanted to get it on record that I LOVE THESE THINGS.
Ava's Demon
It's this really gorgeous webcomic
Filled with interesting characters
Also, I'm currently obsessed with this song
Also, this mini-musical. Feat. Lindsay Mendez again, opposite the AMAZING Anthony Ramos and written by Lin-Manuel Miranda (to whom I'll probably dedicate a post sometime)
Ok, bye. I just wanted to get it on record that I LOVE THESE THINGS.
Friday, October 13, 2017
Weeks Went By Like What
Ok, so a lot of stuff has gone down these last two weeks and I need to get it all down.
First off, I feel like I've discovered one of my reasons for being here at BYU, which means a lot to me. Last Thursday morning, the university sent out an email telling everyone about a lecture by an almuna, Liz Shropshire. Billed as "Teaching Children Peace Through Music: The Life-Changing Impact of Music Education for Children in War Zones", the lecture was supposed to "details Shropshire's work in refugee camps and communities across Syria, Northern Ireland, and Uganda."
I went on a total whim. Music education is what I want to do. Refugees are people, incredible resilient people with heartbreaking stories, and I was interested. And what I heard changed me.
Liz went to Kosovo on a relief trip in 1999, and raised money to bring instruments to give to the children, just pennywhistles and harmonicas. She taught these kids music and then knew that she had to keep coming back. So she started a non-profit organisation, and then established a program in Kosovo, and eventually it grew to the point where it's run entirely by Kosovo youth volunteers and runs all year and Liz only goes to check up.
She expanded out to Northern Ireland, Uganda, and most recently to Greece. She told stories of children who came into her programs looking broken and helpless, who suffered from screaming nightmares, who found solace in their music. They keep their instruments on them all the time and they play and sing all the time. The smiles start. The nightmares stop. And the youth learn they can make a difference, learn leadership, and love serving the children. It's a win for everyone.
Her website, Teaching Peace Through Music, explains a lot more about them. I'll share an excerpt:
I was honestly so blown away by this lecture, and the follow-up Q&A session the next day. We're hoping to start an official club here at the university, and possibly to start working with refugees in Salt Lake and Provo, using her program. And I haven't felt this excited or this right about anything since I got my mission call and on my mission. I know, without a doubt, that this is something I have to be a part of. For how long, I'll see, but I'm sure I am here right now so I could hear about this.
God guides us, truly.
But wait, there's more. September was not a good month for me, in terms of motivation and spirituality and life. So on Sunday, I fasted for the strength to accomplish and overcome everything that stood before me.
Diving foreshadowing. On Sunday night, my parents told my siblings and I that my dad has lost his job. The mine did some rearrangin' and his position didn't make the cut. Enter period of uncertainty for us.
But I have faced this week confident in the fact that God will watch over us and guide my daddy to the next place he's supposed to be and that it will all turn out ok. And I attribute much of my serenity to the fast on Sunday.
God is giving me strength.
I'm also suffering from an intense renewed desire to do my schoolwork and earn scholarships and make as little stress for my parents as possible, which is a good thing.
Had an incredible Book of Mormon class again in which our teacher talked about how important it is to make sure that we talk about Heavenly Father- sometimes in the Church, we as members talk about Christ so much that we never mention our Father in Heaven. And if Christ were here, well, what would He say about that? The whole plan comes back to our Father, His love for us, the fact that we can be with Him again.
And it was simultaneously a super uplifting and very validating moment for me, because I had noticed this tendency, especially on my mission, and I tried so hard not to do this. Because my relationship with Heavenly Father means everything to me, knowing that I am His daughter helps me understand my purpose, and I can't wait to be with Him again.
God knows me, and He loves me.
Also, it was my mom's birthday yesterday.
And the finally, today. I have a job working as a custodian at the MTC, and today I was working on something when two elders came up to me and asked if they could share a short message with me. Of course, I agreed.
They read me Doctrine and Covenants 19:16-18.
And they asked me how knowing someone cared that much for me would impact me. I told them, truthfully, it would make me want to do what that person wanted, and to do what was best.
And then these two sweet, terrifiedly nervous elders, bore sincere and powerful testimony that God loves me that much, that He knows me and watches over me and will take care of me.
And I needed to hear it. I so did.
And to top it all off, I went to the temple with a couple of friends/coworkers, and I just got back and sat down to write this post because WOW.
I haven't been since the start of September, and it was so sweet to be in the House of the Lord. Every time I am there, I feel like I am home. I so needed to be there today.
I have so much to learn. But there is so much that I love about the temple. And the sweetest moment was sitting in the celestial room, pondering, and the hymn, O My Father came to mind. I sang through the whole thing, reveling in the beauty of the words. And especially the first and fourth verses.
I mean, I was thinking it in German, but the overall effect is the same.
I am overwhelmed by God's love and awareness of me, and by the glory of the fact that I can return to live with Him again.
Today was a perfect day. :)
First off, I feel like I've discovered one of my reasons for being here at BYU, which means a lot to me. Last Thursday morning, the university sent out an email telling everyone about a lecture by an almuna, Liz Shropshire. Billed as "Teaching Children Peace Through Music: The Life-Changing Impact of Music Education for Children in War Zones", the lecture was supposed to "details Shropshire's work in refugee camps and communities across Syria, Northern Ireland, and Uganda."
I went on a total whim. Music education is what I want to do. Refugees are people, incredible resilient people with heartbreaking stories, and I was interested. And what I heard changed me.
Liz went to Kosovo on a relief trip in 1999, and raised money to bring instruments to give to the children, just pennywhistles and harmonicas. She taught these kids music and then knew that she had to keep coming back. So she started a non-profit organisation, and then established a program in Kosovo, and eventually it grew to the point where it's run entirely by Kosovo youth volunteers and runs all year and Liz only goes to check up.
She expanded out to Northern Ireland, Uganda, and most recently to Greece. She told stories of children who came into her programs looking broken and helpless, who suffered from screaming nightmares, who found solace in their music. They keep their instruments on them all the time and they play and sing all the time. The smiles start. The nightmares stop. And the youth learn they can make a difference, learn leadership, and love serving the children. It's a win for everyone.
Her website, Teaching Peace Through Music, explains a lot more about them. I'll share an excerpt:
The Shropshire Music Foundation develops youth leadership and capacity for peacemaking and problem-solving in global conflict zones through the establishment of locally-run, youth-led music education programs. These programs provide local children opportunities for education, trauma relief, expression, and creativity and local teenagers opportunities to develop leadership, teaching, and expressive skills, to become role models in their communities, to access broader opportunities for education, and to reduce vulnerability to extremist group participation.
The Shropshire Music Foundation provides free musical instruments and instruction to former child soldiers and refugees in some of the world’s most war-torn locations: Uganda, Kosovo, Northern Ireland, and Syrian Refugee Centers. Since 1999, we have taught more than 17,000 young people that through music they can bring healing, hope, and peace to their communities.
I was honestly so blown away by this lecture, and the follow-up Q&A session the next day. We're hoping to start an official club here at the university, and possibly to start working with refugees in Salt Lake and Provo, using her program. And I haven't felt this excited or this right about anything since I got my mission call and on my mission. I know, without a doubt, that this is something I have to be a part of. For how long, I'll see, but I'm sure I am here right now so I could hear about this.
God guides us, truly.
But wait, there's more. September was not a good month for me, in terms of motivation and spirituality and life. So on Sunday, I fasted for the strength to accomplish and overcome everything that stood before me.
Diving foreshadowing. On Sunday night, my parents told my siblings and I that my dad has lost his job. The mine did some rearrangin' and his position didn't make the cut. Enter period of uncertainty for us.
But I have faced this week confident in the fact that God will watch over us and guide my daddy to the next place he's supposed to be and that it will all turn out ok. And I attribute much of my serenity to the fast on Sunday.
God is giving me strength.
I'm also suffering from an intense renewed desire to do my schoolwork and earn scholarships and make as little stress for my parents as possible, which is a good thing.
Had an incredible Book of Mormon class again in which our teacher talked about how important it is to make sure that we talk about Heavenly Father- sometimes in the Church, we as members talk about Christ so much that we never mention our Father in Heaven. And if Christ were here, well, what would He say about that? The whole plan comes back to our Father, His love for us, the fact that we can be with Him again.
And it was simultaneously a super uplifting and very validating moment for me, because I had noticed this tendency, especially on my mission, and I tried so hard not to do this. Because my relationship with Heavenly Father means everything to me, knowing that I am His daughter helps me understand my purpose, and I can't wait to be with Him again.
God knows me, and He loves me.
Also, it was my mom's birthday yesterday.
And the finally, today. I have a job working as a custodian at the MTC, and today I was working on something when two elders came up to me and asked if they could share a short message with me. Of course, I agreed.
They read me Doctrine and Covenants 19:16-18.
For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent;
But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I;
Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—
And they asked me how knowing someone cared that much for me would impact me. I told them, truthfully, it would make me want to do what that person wanted, and to do what was best.
And then these two sweet, terrifiedly nervous elders, bore sincere and powerful testimony that God loves me that much, that He knows me and watches over me and will take care of me.
And I needed to hear it. I so did.
And to top it all off, I went to the temple with a couple of friends/coworkers, and I just got back and sat down to write this post because WOW.
I haven't been since the start of September, and it was so sweet to be in the House of the Lord. Every time I am there, I feel like I am home. I so needed to be there today.
I have so much to learn. But there is so much that I love about the temple. And the sweetest moment was sitting in the celestial room, pondering, and the hymn, O My Father came to mind. I sang through the whole thing, reveling in the beauty of the words. And especially the first and fourth verses.
O my Father, thou that dwellest
In the high and glorious place,
When shall I regain thy presence
And again behold thy face?
In thy holy habitation,
Did my spirit once reside?
In my first primeval childhood
Was I nurtured near thy side?
In the heav’ns are parents single?
No, the thought makes reason stare!
Truth is reason; truth eternal
Tells me I’ve a mother there.
When I leave this frail existence,
When I lay this mortal by,
Father, Mother, may I meet you
In your royal courts on high?
Then, at length, when I’ve completed
All you sent me forth to do,
With your mutual approbation
Let me come and dwell with you.
I mean, I was thinking it in German, but the overall effect is the same.
I am overwhelmed by God's love and awareness of me, and by the glory of the fact that I can return to live with Him again.
Today was a perfect day. :)
Tuesday, October 3, 2017
Home Means Nevada
I have a lot of thoughts and feelings and opinions right now and I need to rant a bit, write a bit, straighten it all out.
Weird side effect of my mission is that I came back political as all get-out. Before, I knew it was important and felt obligated to participate as a good citisen. But somewhere in the middle of Germany and the refugee crisis and a world that is so much bigger than me, I changed. Now, I get fired up and ready to go, on fire to advocate and create change.
So what happened this week hasn't just hit me as a tragedy that I'm waiting for someone to change. It struck me as something that I need to be vocal about and campaign for and fight for change.
Sunday night, at the Route 91 Harvest Festival, a country music festival, there was a shooting. Currently, there's 59 people dead and 527 more wounded in the US's deadliest mass shooting. Ever. And there is a lot of grief and rage and opinions being aired in the country right now, with the internet a place for vitriol and debate.
And here's my spiel.
As a Nevadan, I am heartbroken. It's not hard to picture it happening anywhere else, somewhere closer to home. Henderson, Reno, Elko, Wendover. We're all full of casinos and parties and festivals and people, every day. And I have friends who live in Vegas. As of yet, no one I know has been effected. But there's 586 families and communities out there that are reeling right now.
And it's terrifying to consider the fact that Americans make no progress to fix this problem. There's no "if there's a shooting," there's just, "when there's a shooting," and I've learned coping tactics in school and one time my high school was locked down for real because there was a man with a gun just a few blocks away. But it was lunchtime at an open campus school, and most of us didn't know it was a lockdown. If the situation had escalated, it would have ended heartbreakingly. That terrifies me.
If something doesn't change, I will raise my children in a place where random acts of mass-violence are inevitable and they can expect to be involved in one, even in this country that ought to be great and shining, an example for the world.
That breaks my heart.
Now is a time to mourn, to grieve, to support those effected.
But then it's time to talk solutions.
In the past few days, I've seen charts and graphs depicting America's gun problems and how many shootings we have and read opinions and ideas of what to change and how to handle this and honestly, I am so on board.
Yes, require a license. Yes, register gun buyers. Yes, a 48-hour delay. Yes, mandatory gun safety. No, silencers should not be easier to purchase. No, civilians do NOT need heavy artillery. Collectors? Fine. But they can't get ammunition. I know a lot of people have a lot of arguments for what I'm saying right now, but I don't care. I'm conservative about a lot of things, but if arguing for safety and reason puts me on the liberal side of this issue, I will stand there gladly.
Listen. I know people will claim 2nd Amendment "right to bear arms," but you know what? This is the full text:
That was written as a direct result of what the American colonists had lived with as English citisens. Only the army could bear arms. Civilians had no way to defend themselves. The 2nd Amendment was written 200 years ago and was NOT written to allow civilians to collect hoards of heavy artillery.
Do gun control laws infringe on the right to self-defense? No. People could still obtain a gun, they'd just have to jump through a few hoops to do so. I'll always support your right to defend yourself. But I cannot support a system that allows people to easily perpetrate mass violence.
There is a time to fix things. There are things we can change. We have to look past political agendas and look at what is best for our country and for our future.
We can never bring back those who have lost their lives to gun violence. But we can take steps to prevent it from happening again. And that starts now.
Weird side effect of my mission is that I came back political as all get-out. Before, I knew it was important and felt obligated to participate as a good citisen. But somewhere in the middle of Germany and the refugee crisis and a world that is so much bigger than me, I changed. Now, I get fired up and ready to go, on fire to advocate and create change.
So what happened this week hasn't just hit me as a tragedy that I'm waiting for someone to change. It struck me as something that I need to be vocal about and campaign for and fight for change.
Sunday night, at the Route 91 Harvest Festival, a country music festival, there was a shooting. Currently, there's 59 people dead and 527 more wounded in the US's deadliest mass shooting. Ever. And there is a lot of grief and rage and opinions being aired in the country right now, with the internet a place for vitriol and debate.
And here's my spiel.
As a Nevadan, I am heartbroken. It's not hard to picture it happening anywhere else, somewhere closer to home. Henderson, Reno, Elko, Wendover. We're all full of casinos and parties and festivals and people, every day. And I have friends who live in Vegas. As of yet, no one I know has been effected. But there's 586 families and communities out there that are reeling right now.
And it's terrifying to consider the fact that Americans make no progress to fix this problem. There's no "if there's a shooting," there's just, "when there's a shooting," and I've learned coping tactics in school and one time my high school was locked down for real because there was a man with a gun just a few blocks away. But it was lunchtime at an open campus school, and most of us didn't know it was a lockdown. If the situation had escalated, it would have ended heartbreakingly. That terrifies me.
If something doesn't change, I will raise my children in a place where random acts of mass-violence are inevitable and they can expect to be involved in one, even in this country that ought to be great and shining, an example for the world.
That breaks my heart.
Now is a time to mourn, to grieve, to support those effected.
But then it's time to talk solutions.
In the past few days, I've seen charts and graphs depicting America's gun problems and how many shootings we have and read opinions and ideas of what to change and how to handle this and honestly, I am so on board.
Yes, require a license. Yes, register gun buyers. Yes, a 48-hour delay. Yes, mandatory gun safety. No, silencers should not be easier to purchase. No, civilians do NOT need heavy artillery. Collectors? Fine. But they can't get ammunition. I know a lot of people have a lot of arguments for what I'm saying right now, but I don't care. I'm conservative about a lot of things, but if arguing for safety and reason puts me on the liberal side of this issue, I will stand there gladly.
Listen. I know people will claim 2nd Amendment "right to bear arms," but you know what? This is the full text:
A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.
That was written as a direct result of what the American colonists had lived with as English citisens. Only the army could bear arms. Civilians had no way to defend themselves. The 2nd Amendment was written 200 years ago and was NOT written to allow civilians to collect hoards of heavy artillery.
Do gun control laws infringe on the right to self-defense? No. People could still obtain a gun, they'd just have to jump through a few hoops to do so. I'll always support your right to defend yourself. But I cannot support a system that allows people to easily perpetrate mass violence.
There is a time to fix things. There are things we can change. We have to look past political agendas and look at what is best for our country and for our future.
We can never bring back those who have lost their lives to gun violence. But we can take steps to prevent it from happening again. And that starts now.
Wednesday, September 27, 2017
Work on the Roots
I swear, I should not be writing this post right now, because I have a class in 40 minutes that I still need to finish up some reading for, but I just really need to organise my thoughts because
HOLY COW WOW
So I'm at university, and I might as well clarify that it is indeed Brigham Young University, which is a private school owned by my church that is, naturally, very religious. Also, it means I get to see these mountains all the time:
But anyhow. I'm taking a Teaching and Doctrine of the Book of Mormon class, and every time I walk out of there, I'm just in awe at how much I've learned. I am not ignorant when it comes to the Book of Mormon- I've read it multiple times in two languages, and while I'm still learning, I do know much of the doctrine and many of the overarching themes. And it continually astounds me for its beauty and simplicity and all that I can learn, every time I open it.
So today, in this class we discussed Jacob 5. A chapter that is jokingly dreaded as the longest chapter in the book, 77 whole verses. A chapter that is written in an Isaiah-like style, that we as a culture often struggle to understand. Zenos' allegory of the olive tree.
Basically, Zenos likens the House of Israel unto an olive tree, and goes on to explain the history, and prophesy the future, of God's people. Very Old Testament, Abrahamic covenant style here.
And I actually really love this chapter already, for all it teaches us of the nature of God: His patience and long-suffering with us, His diligence in our salvation, the fact that He weeps, grieving, should He lose any of His children. There is so much wonderful insight into His character in this chapter, as we read the narrative of His dealings with His covenant children.
But my teacher, Brother Griffin, took it a step past that. He encouraged us to think in the Hebrew style, and find more layers of symbolism in these teachings. And he compared it all to us.
Suddenly, the pruning of the olive tree was God giving me trials and guidance, things that are hard, but that I need. The digging and nourishing was Him preparing me for, and then giving me, blessings. And grafting was His hand guiding people and experiences that I need into my life.
It all hit me in a way it never had before.
But it got deeper later, as we spoke of the time when the branches that were grafted in overwhelmed the roots of the tree, and it brought forth evil fruit (Jacob 5:48). I had already thought of this passage as a warning against personal pride, loftiness, which will strangle out righteousness.
But it goes deeper. Brother Griffin talked about how, sometimes, before we can grow or stretch more, we need to work on our core, our roots. We need to be stronger, more steady, more ready to take on extra weight or added growth. He related that to our personal lives and also to the growth of the church as a whole. He said we're in a slow growth time- and that's ok, because trees don't grow the same amount every year. But he also said that it means that we need to work on the roots, on us. And as I thought about my mission, my eighteen month labour of love complete with one baptism, I could see how that was true. And this moment struck me.
Because I worked hard. I did. I wasn't perfect, but I tried to do what was right. And every city I worked in was a constant struggle to find people to teach, and to try to improve relationships with the members and to get them involved in missionary work. And twice, when I left an area, in the following transfers there was growth and success, baptisms. And I struggled with that, comparing myself to the other missionaries, wondering why I never saw results like that. Towards the end of my mission, I started to appreciate what a work I had done in building member relations and preparing the way for the next missionaries.
But in class today, as Brother Griffin spoke about nourishing the roots, I was overcome by my feelings, knowing how much time I've spent doing just that. And in contemplation, I realise that I feel more ok about it now than I ever did in the field, more open to the fact that I did work. Somehow, it hit me that it was ok, and important.
And also, that I have a lot of work to do on my own roots. I'm not in my best place right now, spiritually, academically, in terms of motivation and sticktuitiveness. And I felt sharply, how far I have to go. But I am so looking forward to Gerneral Conference this weekend, to help me find some of the guidance I need. And I am ready to work on my roots, so that when the growth comes, I am ready to bear the burdens God asks me to.
It's going to be a good year.
HOLY COW WOW
So I'm at university, and I might as well clarify that it is indeed Brigham Young University, which is a private school owned by my church that is, naturally, very religious. Also, it means I get to see these mountains all the time:
But anyhow. I'm taking a Teaching and Doctrine of the Book of Mormon class, and every time I walk out of there, I'm just in awe at how much I've learned. I am not ignorant when it comes to the Book of Mormon- I've read it multiple times in two languages, and while I'm still learning, I do know much of the doctrine and many of the overarching themes. And it continually astounds me for its beauty and simplicity and all that I can learn, every time I open it.
So today, in this class we discussed Jacob 5. A chapter that is jokingly dreaded as the longest chapter in the book, 77 whole verses. A chapter that is written in an Isaiah-like style, that we as a culture often struggle to understand. Zenos' allegory of the olive tree.
Basically, Zenos likens the House of Israel unto an olive tree, and goes on to explain the history, and prophesy the future, of God's people. Very Old Testament, Abrahamic covenant style here.
And I actually really love this chapter already, for all it teaches us of the nature of God: His patience and long-suffering with us, His diligence in our salvation, the fact that He weeps, grieving, should He lose any of His children. There is so much wonderful insight into His character in this chapter, as we read the narrative of His dealings with His covenant children.
But my teacher, Brother Griffin, took it a step past that. He encouraged us to think in the Hebrew style, and find more layers of symbolism in these teachings. And he compared it all to us.
Suddenly, the pruning of the olive tree was God giving me trials and guidance, things that are hard, but that I need. The digging and nourishing was Him preparing me for, and then giving me, blessings. And grafting was His hand guiding people and experiences that I need into my life.
It all hit me in a way it never had before.
But it got deeper later, as we spoke of the time when the branches that were grafted in overwhelmed the roots of the tree, and it brought forth evil fruit (Jacob 5:48). I had already thought of this passage as a warning against personal pride, loftiness, which will strangle out righteousness.
But it goes deeper. Brother Griffin talked about how, sometimes, before we can grow or stretch more, we need to work on our core, our roots. We need to be stronger, more steady, more ready to take on extra weight or added growth. He related that to our personal lives and also to the growth of the church as a whole. He said we're in a slow growth time- and that's ok, because trees don't grow the same amount every year. But he also said that it means that we need to work on the roots, on us. And as I thought about my mission, my eighteen month labour of love complete with one baptism, I could see how that was true. And this moment struck me.
Because I worked hard. I did. I wasn't perfect, but I tried to do what was right. And every city I worked in was a constant struggle to find people to teach, and to try to improve relationships with the members and to get them involved in missionary work. And twice, when I left an area, in the following transfers there was growth and success, baptisms. And I struggled with that, comparing myself to the other missionaries, wondering why I never saw results like that. Towards the end of my mission, I started to appreciate what a work I had done in building member relations and preparing the way for the next missionaries.
But in class today, as Brother Griffin spoke about nourishing the roots, I was overcome by my feelings, knowing how much time I've spent doing just that. And in contemplation, I realise that I feel more ok about it now than I ever did in the field, more open to the fact that I did work. Somehow, it hit me that it was ok, and important.
And also, that I have a lot of work to do on my own roots. I'm not in my best place right now, spiritually, academically, in terms of motivation and sticktuitiveness. And I felt sharply, how far I have to go. But I am so looking forward to Gerneral Conference this weekend, to help me find some of the guidance I need. And I am ready to work on my roots, so that when the growth comes, I am ready to bear the burdens God asks me to.
It's going to be a good year.
Sunday, September 17, 2017
Week 2, Still Not Dead...
But, man, I do not feel good.
The last few days, my throat's been hurting. And my head. It's been real fun.
Uni is still kicking my butt a little.
And I feel weird. I know this is where God wants me to be, but I feel very displaced here, not quite at home, like I don't really belong. But I guess I'll see what happens.
ANYHOW.
Time management was better this week. I also added vocal instruction into my life so I have to do that, along with bassoon. Go team me!
I need to sleep, so this'll be short, but I wanted to post.
Job is SWEET, more on that later.
I got to see SPO this weekend because TES was visiting the college where she goes, and also we hung out with Bon, which was AWESOME. I always adore spending time with Tes, and then I hadn't see Spo or Bon since June of 2015 (before Bon and I went on missions), so it was sweet to get back together with them. Also, watched MOANA (which I'm OBSESSED WITH) because Bon hadn't seen it yet, so that was fun. :)
And one last thing to close this off- we got assigned our ward FHE groups tonight and THERE ARE TWO GERMANS IN MINE and GOD LOVES ME. We'll see what happens tomorrow.
Also, I'm bakin' banana bread tomorrow. WOOT.
Bis naechstes mal!
The last few days, my throat's been hurting. And my head. It's been real fun.
Uni is still kicking my butt a little.
And I feel weird. I know this is where God wants me to be, but I feel very displaced here, not quite at home, like I don't really belong. But I guess I'll see what happens.
ANYHOW.
Time management was better this week. I also added vocal instruction into my life so I have to do that, along with bassoon. Go team me!
I need to sleep, so this'll be short, but I wanted to post.
Job is SWEET, more on that later.
I got to see SPO this weekend because TES was visiting the college where she goes, and also we hung out with Bon, which was AWESOME. I always adore spending time with Tes, and then I hadn't see Spo or Bon since June of 2015 (before Bon and I went on missions), so it was sweet to get back together with them. Also, watched MOANA (which I'm OBSESSED WITH) because Bon hadn't seen it yet, so that was fun. :)
And one last thing to close this off- we got assigned our ward FHE groups tonight and THERE ARE TWO GERMANS IN MINE and GOD LOVES ME. We'll see what happens tomorrow.
Also, I'm bakin' banana bread tomorrow. WOOT.
Bis naechstes mal!
Monday, September 11, 2017
One and Done
Right, so this was a week.
What I learned this week is that all of the time management skills that I learned on my mission have been decimated this summer. I did not do well this week.
FOR EXAMPLE. I have bassoon instruction and I'm supposed to practice 6 hours a week. And I practiced one this week. Mostly on account of I just didn't do life well.
Also, I have an American Heritage class, and I have about 20 pages of reading I need to do before 11 am tomorrow.
And another 7 chapters for a religion class at 9 am.
I'm crushing it, basically.
In other news, I got to hang out with Tes, my trainer, which was INCREDIBLE. We pretty much just talked for three hours straight- I've only seen her once since July of last year, and that was very brief, so getting to see her again and just do life was incredible. It was so good to reconnect and talk about things and just... yeah. Some friendships are forever, and hers is one of those for me. She's incredible.
Also, I went to the temple, which was a lovely experience. I just really know that it is God's house and that He loves us. There's a lot I'm still learning, but o! how I know this gospel is true!
---------
Finishing Monday morning, because sleep is a thing that had to happen.
I also got hired to be an early-morning janitor in my favourite place here on campus, so we'll see how that pans out.
I'm hoping to write two posts a week up in here, but we shall see...
It's been a blast, but stressful so far. I'm rooming with my cousin, Est, and we've made it a goal to do something with our cousin, Zap, who's also a freshman here on campus, at least once a week. This week, we hung out at Aunt Jo and Uncle Ro's house with him and cousins Kad & Cad and Pyp, their PRECIOUS year and half old daughter. Party. We watched Hercules, an episode of Face-off, and an episode of Project Runway. Go team!
Also this week, I got to babysit Pyp because Kad had to have a surgery at a stupid early time in the morning, and I had the right times free. It means so much to me that I can help out in times like these, that I'm close enough to my family to help, to be there. I love them. Pyp also broke her arm this week, so it was quite the week for their family.
Umm... yeah. I think that's all I got. I have class in two hours and reading to do and I'll see y'all around.
What I learned this week is that all of the time management skills that I learned on my mission have been decimated this summer. I did not do well this week.
FOR EXAMPLE. I have bassoon instruction and I'm supposed to practice 6 hours a week. And I practiced one this week. Mostly on account of I just didn't do life well.
Also, I have an American Heritage class, and I have about 20 pages of reading I need to do before 11 am tomorrow.
And another 7 chapters for a religion class at 9 am.
I'm crushing it, basically.
In other news, I got to hang out with Tes, my trainer, which was INCREDIBLE. We pretty much just talked for three hours straight- I've only seen her once since July of last year, and that was very brief, so getting to see her again and just do life was incredible. It was so good to reconnect and talk about things and just... yeah. Some friendships are forever, and hers is one of those for me. She's incredible.
Also, I went to the temple, which was a lovely experience. I just really know that it is God's house and that He loves us. There's a lot I'm still learning, but o! how I know this gospel is true!
---------
Finishing Monday morning, because sleep is a thing that had to happen.
I also got hired to be an early-morning janitor in my favourite place here on campus, so we'll see how that pans out.
I'm hoping to write two posts a week up in here, but we shall see...
It's been a blast, but stressful so far. I'm rooming with my cousin, Est, and we've made it a goal to do something with our cousin, Zap, who's also a freshman here on campus, at least once a week. This week, we hung out at Aunt Jo and Uncle Ro's house with him and cousins Kad & Cad and Pyp, their PRECIOUS year and half old daughter. Party. We watched Hercules, an episode of Face-off, and an episode of Project Runway. Go team!
Also this week, I got to babysit Pyp because Kad had to have a surgery at a stupid early time in the morning, and I had the right times free. It means so much to me that I can help out in times like these, that I'm close enough to my family to help, to be there. I love them. Pyp also broke her arm this week, so it was quite the week for their family.
Umm... yeah. I think that's all I got. I have class in two hours and reading to do and I'll see y'all around.
Monday, September 4, 2017
Guten Tag
I just feel the need to come back to this pet project of mine.
It's been a while.
Hi.
Did I mention before my silence that I was going to serve as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? I did that. I lived in Germany for 18 months and I fell in love with the whole world.
And then I came home to my family freefall of summer and life has been insane.
And I moved from Myneton this last week to start university. First day of class is tomorrow. I have a bassoon lesson and choir. :)
And I want to come back to this free space of writing and sharing thoughts with a nonexistent audience. Perhaps someday more people will be here.
But for now, it's just thoughts, really.
It's been a while.
Hi.
Did I mention before my silence that I was going to serve as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? I did that. I lived in Germany for 18 months and I fell in love with the whole world.
And then I came home to my family freefall of summer and life has been insane.
And I moved from Myneton this last week to start university. First day of class is tomorrow. I have a bassoon lesson and choir. :)
And I want to come back to this free space of writing and sharing thoughts with a nonexistent audience. Perhaps someday more people will be here.
But for now, it's just thoughts, really.
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