A Midsummer Night's Dream

So, I'm waiting for my mission call to come. And so I've involved myself in the local college's production of Shakespeare's 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' because it runs in October, and I might as well!

And I LOVE this show! The first time I saw it was the summer before I started eighth grade, so... 2010. A while ago. But my older brother played Lysander, and a bunch of my other friends were in the production, and I just remember thinking what and INCREDIBLE show it was. It was so. funny. and so clever!

If you don't know A Midsummer Night's Dream, I recommend this helpful summary (although it does have a slight language issue.) But it's really good.

So of course, when I found out auditions were being held, I had to go! Rle auditioned too, which is great. Yay friends! But anyhow- Auditions were last week, and the cast list came out last Friday- Rle got cast as Egeus, Hermia's father, and I got cast as Titania, the fairy queen.

Which is wonderful! Except for one thing- I am an AWKWARD soul. I am not at all what I would envision as a fairy queen. Like, when I told my sister that there are several scenes where the fairies dance, and one where I have the line, "We shall dance with fairy grace," she just laughed. And one of my friends, an adult lady named Jor, who's helping with costuming/tech for the show, did the same thing. GUYS. I am NOT graceful at all! It's gonna be one fun adventure...

Seriously, though, I am SO STOKED to be in this show. I love it so much, and it's going to be wonderful!

Unless the fairy queen Titania trips onstage and takes out Oberon the fairy king, or some other equally awful idea. I guess we'll see.

At The Ballet

So, my voice teacher, G.M. found this incredible performance of this AMAZING song from Chorus Line.
A little background- Chorus Line is a musical about auditioning to be in the chorus line for a show, and as part of the auditions, the casting director asks each of the dancers to tell him something about themselves. That's when "At The Ballet" happens.

OK. So, I LOVE Audra McDonald, and I LOVE Kelli O'Hara, and I don't know Megan Hilty but I need to look into her more. And this song is just... WOW.

I used to dance ballet. I danced for five years, and my sister danced for seven, and we only stopped because we moved to Podunk, where there weren't any good ballet schools. Usually, I'm fine, but watching this video- oh! that was it, exactly. Dancing was home, and it was beautiful. And at 4:50, when the music just swells, and then the dancers came out, I cried. I miss dancing, I do.

Also, I've since grown up into the most physically awkward person, but that's off-topic.

Anyhow, so then I found two more things, the original cast recording and Seth Rudetsky. So here's the deal. The original cast doesn't sing as well as Audra and Megan and Kelli, but that's because they're DANCERS. And hearing the emotion in their voice is just incredible. And then Seth- he's this Broadway pianist who posts videos dissecting Broadway shows and songs and people, and everything he says about "At The Ballet" is just so cool, and it adds so much to the song, and the whole story. It's incredible.

original cast recording

Seth Rudetsky

And finally, I found this performance, of the original cast, fifteen years later. WATCHING them do it, and knowing what Seth said about the stories... It's wow.

the song starts 40 seconds in

I'm just obsessed with this song. It's beautiful and heartbreaking and everything.

Yeah. I think that's it for today.

19 Years Go By So Quickly

Yeah. It's my birthday. 19 today. (mission, here I come!)
And I just feel retrospective, and I'm going to post some things about myself. (there were going to be 19 originally, but I started this post way too late. so I've got like 10. oh well.)  Things I love, things I've learned, things I'd like to leave behind.... So here we go.

love- READING. I've always been a reader, as long as I can remember. I've lived thousands of lives and been to a million places and books have saved me and inspired me and amazed me and I absolutely love them. The Chronicles of Narnia. The Harry Potter Series. The Books of Bayern. The Cry of the Icemark. The Bartimaeus Trilogy. The Percy Jackson Series. Just to name a few.  I grew up in worlds of ink and paper, with my dad reading us stories and bringing words to life. Reading is amazing.

learn- What other people think doesn't matter. And I don't mean ignore your parents or your very best friend's good advice. What I mean is, it doesn't matter if the girl in your class thinks your pants aren't cute enough or if the boy doesn't laugh at your jokes or if your hair/face/laugh/thing you love/hobby isn't fashionable or whatever else. If you spend your time worrying about pleasing others, it is far too easy to lose yourself in the disaster that high school and society can be. You're the only person who lives with you 100% of every day, and you need to be okay with who you are. And who you are is brilliant and bright.

leave- Insecurity. Because of what I just talked about, I've also realised that insecurity is something I can live without. Yes, it's scary to talk in front of people, and I'm nervous about singing or performing or auditions, and sometimes I may not like the way I look. But letting insecurity eat away at my love for myself is never worth it.

love- MUSIC. I've been singing for as long as I can remember, playing piano since second grade, bassoon since sixth, saxophone since ninth, writing music/songs since eighth grade. And music is a wonder. Ink on a page and creations of wood and metal can change moods, break hearts or mend them, hurt and heal. Music expresses what words cannot, and it is miraculous.

learn- It's okay to be weird. I spent ridiculous amounts of time in high school trying to be less weird than I thought I was. But ya know what? It's beautiful to be passionate about something, whether that's cars or Broadway or painting or calculus. There's no need to shave off the ragged edges of your weirdness, because that's what sets you apart from everyone else, what makes you powerful, worth talking to. Love the thing you love, do that thing you do, and know that you will be all the more interesting because of that. No one ever made history who wasn't called weird at some point.

leave- Toxic people. There are times when you may meet someone who brings you down- they guilt trip you or make you feel bad about yourself, they make you doubt yourself and your abilities, they make you question your worth. Don't let those people take up your time and eat away at your soul. Surround yourself with those who bring you up and encourage you and make you feel valuable and wonderful, because YOU ARE.

love- WRITING. Well, if you've been reading this, you know I write poetry, songs, words. There is something incredibly therapeutic about watching my soul come to life on a paper, organised and beautiful. And writing has been an incredible outlet for me, when I've been sad, lonely, happy, excited, angry, confused... Words are magical.

learn- Life is scary and hard and wonderful. Take chances. There will always be things you can't plan for, and unexpected events, but if you never try, you'll never succeed at anything. You will never know how much you may love something if you don't give it ago, and you will never know how much someone may mean to you if you never say hello. Don't let the things you're afraid of stop you from living.

leave- Unnecessary worry. If you can't change it, don't let it ruin your life. Make the changes you can, but accept that it may rain. Bring your umbrella, and enjoy it. Don't let tiny stresses take the joy out of life.

last, but not least- The Gospel is true and God loves you. That's it. That's the most important thing. I've had times of doubt and been lost, during high school. But the Gospel of Christ always ended up being the only thing that made any sense. And it always will. He will always be there, because He loves you.

Yeah. I guess I've grown up, some. Let's see the next 19?