Fangirl Friday: Blogs!

So, I follow a few blogs. And I just need to share them, because they're wonderful!

The first blog I started following is Cakewrecks. It's exactly what it sounds like- a blog that makes fun of cakes gone wrong, professional cakes that turned out hilariously awful. It's SO FUNNY. It includes gems like these:
 

This cake is the cake that started it all. It's a classic.

 

Still not sure what the story on "Falker Satherhood" is. But it's FUNNY.

 

Yes, this creepy baby cake is REAL. And yes, someone paid for it. 0.o

However, to restore your faith in cake makers, every Sunday, the lovely folks at Cakewrecks post Sunday Sweets, which are AMAZING.
Like this:

Also, posts tend to be full of geeky references and jokes. SO MANY JOKES.
So, that's Cakewrecks.

Then, a few years ago, the primary author of Cakewrecks, Jen, started another blog: Epbot. Her tagline for the blog is "Geekery, Girliness, & Goofing Off," and that's exactly what it is. Jen posts amazing tutorials for crafts that she and her husband John have done, ranging from Halloween eyeball wreaths...

to steampunk goggles...
to Harry Potter Death Eater Masks...
 
and a whole lot more!
Jen also posts a lot of geek stuff, and Jen and John go to a lot of conventions, so she posts cosplay pictures and con survival guides. She posts about books she's read, and movies she loves. And she also is real about her life, including her struggles with anxiety, and their cat who overgrooms. Epbot is a lovely corner of the internet full of happy things.

Then, there's It Just Gets Stranger. I will be honest, I'm not sure how I found this blog. But it's wonderful! Eli blogs about everything from his job as a lawyer to his Iron Man training to his neighbours "The Perfects" and his friends. He also travels a lot, and posts amazing pictures. But the cool thing about this blog is that it ranges from incredibly silly (The Lost Journal Series), to very deep (A Kentucky Clerk), and everywhere in between (Pictures and Distractions). The Stranger community is a good one. :)

And the last one is one I just check up on every once in a while, but it's HILARIOUS. Obvious Plant is full of shenanigans. Basically, this guy makes signs and ads and posts them places. Like this:



 He goes to a lot of effort to make pamphlets and posters and store labels, and it's all good fun.

So that's the effort for today. Enjoy my blogs!
 

Compare and Contrast

So, y'all know about Tak. (a quick summary: my high school best friend, and crush, dated him sophomore year, he went to college, we broke up, and aren't really friends anymore) But you don't know about Baw. (a quick summary: my older brother's best friend in Podunk, I had a crush on him in middle school that faded after we moved to Myneton) So, this week, Baw returned from his mission to the Chile Osborno Mission, and of course, big brother (oh my gosh I'm bad at this blogging stuff. big brother got home from the Mexcio City East mission on October 17, and we've basically been hanging out nonstop since then, because we have no obligations.) and I had to go to the airport when he flew in, because big brother was STOKED to see him again! And then we went to his homecoming talk this Sunday... And I just got thinking.

First off, it was so fun to see Baw and my big brother together again. Going on nine years of friendship, and they're hilarious. And they get each other- they really just go together.

But I couldn't help comparing Baw and Tak. They're really similar, and I had crushes on the two of them for a lot of the same reasons- musician, funny, kind, a strong testimony of the Gospel... But looking at them now, it's like...
Well, Baw is still all of those things that I liked. And Tak isn't anymore. I mean, Tak and I haven't even talked in over a year (because he thinks it'd be awkward or something? not really sure...), but from Rle's friendship with him, we know that he's sort of fallen away from the Church (sad, sad, sad!). And he's just... changed a lot since high school. I mean, he's still cute and musical, but he seems to be less considerate, less kind, and he's lost that light. It's like he's become a worse version of himself, I guess. It's sad.
But Baw is shining with this Gospel light, and he's so excited about his testimony, and the chance he had to go to Chile. And he's still cute and musical, and funny and kind, and all the things I liked.

Just, looking at the two of them now... Well, if I were looking to date right now (which I'm not because I'M GOING ON A MISSION IN 42 DAYS!!!! :) Germany here I come!), Baw is exactly the sort of guy I'd go on a date with, someone I'd love to have in my friend group. And Tak is not even on that radar.

It's interesting to see the contrast in them in the two years since they've graduated.

There Are Moments

There are moments when I'm so angry that it's a good thing the object of my anger is not around, because I'd probably do something rash.

There are moments when I want to grab a person's shoulders and shake them silly because of the damage they are throwing around with their careless words.

There are moments when I can't find the words to reassure the people I love the most, and that hurts.

There are moments when I'm trying to be a good friend, a good listener, to reassure and soothe hurts, and it's hard because I want to go scream at the person who caused the pain.

There are moments when I wish people could see what their words have done, when I wish they could see the damage inflicted by the daggers they throw, meticulously sharpened and carefully aimed.

There are moments when I can't help.

There are moments when I sit, useless, while someone I love cries, and there is nothing that I can do to help them.

There are moments when I'm so angry I could scream, but I have to be the better person, and so I hold it in, because someone I love is hurting.

There are just... moments that stand out to me, when I've been upset on behalf of those I love, and there's nothing I can do to fix it, when I feel useless, and angry at the people who made my dear ones feel this way, and I just don't know what to do.

And I hate those moments.

Fangirl Friday: Webcomics II

I intended to make this Fangirl Friday a weekly post. Then crazy happened. But here's another one, again on webcomics- because I've found a few more I really enjoy.

Riven Seal is lovely. I'm just gonna give you the official synopsis, because I'm not sure how to sum up: "Riven Seal is a Victorian fantasy webcomic set in a world where magic has replaced technology and the advent of demon summoning has caused massive social and economic changes. While the story hosts a large cast of characters, a young man named Janus lies at the center of web of fate that connects them all. His encounter with a unbound demon will bring about a series of trials, dangers and magic that has not been seen in centuries." Janus has some very interesting friends (and he's 16. Just so you know. The cast page has SPOILERS but it's nice to know his age). It's obvious early on that Janus is magically gifted, but his guardian is keeping him back. We don't know why yet... RivenSeal is fairly young, but I think it's worth getting into. The art is so lovely, and the story is intriguing!
Updates: Mondays    start date unavailable; as of this post has 148 pages

Lighter Than Heir is not like the other webcomics I'd recommend. It's set in a sort of alternate steampunky reality, in a Germany(ish) place that had previously been at war with a Spain(ish) place. Zeppelin Von Schultheiss is our hero, the 19 year old daughter of a deceased war hero who joins the Steinbech army as soon as she can. Also, she's a volant- naturally gifted with the ability to fly. She has high hopes to be a hero, but boot camp... Is rough. I don't really like Zeppelin (although I think she's getting more likeable as the comic wears on), but I fell in love with the characters around her, her fellow army recruits, who you meet in boot camp:
Emmerich Hertz, mechanically gifted and determined to do well. He also hates Zeppelin... For reasons we see later.
Fritz Roth, who starts out as a jerk, but he grew up on the streets. We see his soft side later, and you really start to like him. Also the resident tough guy.
Ria Klein started out as a fashion model, and IS THE NICEST PERSON. Seriously. She's so cute. And actually does really well at the soldier business.
Mathis Schultz who was an actor, and joined the army to support himself and his actress girlfriend. He tries to smooth edges... He's the little brother of the group, sort of.
Ada Fleischer fangirls hard about things... Joins the army because ZEPPELIN VON SCHULTHEISS but is quickly disenchanted. BUT. She falls in love with the mechs and the guns and mostly the mechs, and she's AWESOME.
For me, the other characters made it worth it, even with kind of hating the protagonist. BUT. The reason this comic is really not like the others is, well, there's a lot of violence. All is not well between Steinbrech and Zamora, and conflict is a-brewin'. And also, there's a bit of a language problem. But it's a neat comic, with a compelling, and believable story.
Updates: M/W/F     running since May 2011

Headless Bliss is LOVELY. It started out as a concept- what happens to the stories we make up and never use? and the author decided to take all her partially fleshed-out stories and put them into one comic. It's an absolutely stunning visual art style, and starts out with an adorable protagonist- Annun, the princess of the demon realms. It's a lovely little world to get lost in.
Updates: T/Th     running since October 2014

So, that's all for today folks! Happy webcomic readin'!

(update 14 October 2015)
I found two new comics today and I don't want to lose them.

The Lonely Vincent Bellingham is one I've found before, but refound, and I adore it. To sum up: "This is a story about Vincent.  (But not really.) Vincent's been on sabbatical recently, and promised his professor to visit his old friend. Because of this, some say Vincent's a nice fellow. But he's not, honestly. (Nice people don't try to run away from their families, homes and responsibilities.) Lucky for him, Vincent finds all the excuses he needs when the "old friend" turns out to be Victoria, a mysterious woman with two interesting children."
That's the official about(with two small edits for spoilers). And that's everything you need to know. It's a charming art style, and an intriguing story. It makes me grin.
Updates W/F    running since December 2014

Clockwork is interesting. It's been recommended by the writers of Girl Genius, which I love, so that's a big point in its favour. Again, stealing the official story: "Cog Kleinschmidt works happily as an artisan within the stronghold of the world’s leading empire, Mercia Fortress. He finds his life taking a screeching turn upon the arrival of a diplomat from the Kingdom of Arcadia, who needs something from Cog - whether he agrees or not!" Cog is best friends with Boris, the prince of Mercia, and they often spend time with Christian, an Arcadian scientist who's lived in Mercia for years.
The interesting thing about this story is that we are dropped in at a time of peril- magic users, in the name of Arcadia, are launching terrorist attacks on Mercia, and Arcadian nobles are dying. Nobody knows why... DRAMA. It's a fun story, with interesting characters. Definitely worth a look!
Updates Wednesdays    running since June 2015

Making Words Matter

Right, I'm finally posting this. Because it's still important.

So, I was asked to speak back in June (on the 14th, actually), along with my friend Kys, who also just graduated. Our topic was broad- "How did seminary and high school change your life/what did you learn from them?" Yeah. HUGE. And we both thought a lot about it... But neither of us wrote anything down.

I get up on the stand that morning, and Kys says, "I have it all in my head."
"Oh, me too. I'm just writing down my five main points, just in case." Because I'd pulled out a pen and a paper, and that's what I was doing.
"Ooo, that's a good idea!" So Kys pulled out her cell phone and made a note with her five main points. (Yes, we both had five. FACT.)

So, I walked up to speak with my five points, two of which were these:

It's okay to not know the answer.
God knows you and loves you individually.

Everything I talked about was significant to me, but those two especially. Here's why:

It's okay to not know the answer! Sometimes, you run across questions in the Gospel, doctrines you're not sure on, and sometimes things won't seem to make sense, even if you pray and ponder and do everything else. And that's ALRIGHT. It doesn't mean God isn't answering you... Sometimes it means you aren't ready for the answer yet, and sometimes it means that you'll never get the answer. And that's okay. Even Christ doesn't know everything! And if there are some things that we won't know in this life, that is alright.
And this is something I struggled with, all through high school. It was frustrating to me to not get answers, or to feel like I wasn't being heard. It made me wonder if I was doing something wrong, and sometimes it was a huge test of my faith. But I realised this year that it's ok to not know EVERYTHING. It's ok to just say, "I don't know," and lean on my faith in God. That was HUGE for me.

God knows you and loves you individually. This is SO. IMPORTANT. There will be times in your life when you may feel like you don't have any friends, or no one understands you, or maybe you're not getting along with your family. It will be hard. BUT. The most powerful person in this universe is on your side, in your corner, and He will never let you down.
And I told this story that had a huge effect on my testimony of this (which actually occurred over a year ago, from when I'm posting this. any comments I didn't originally share will be in green, everything else will be verbatim just as I said it then).
"This fall (2014), I had the opportunity to be one of the drum majors for the high school marching band, something that I've wanted to do for a long time. While it was an amazing experience, and I learned a lot, it was also one of the most challenging things I have ever done. We had a new band director this year (2014-15), because our other director retired at the end of last year (2013-14), and that added to the challenges. The band, as a whole, was getting used to a new director, and pushing limits, and it was frustrating to deal with.
"There was one particular football game (Sep 19, 2014) that was incredibly difficult. It was a pile up of a lot of things, but I basically felt like I wasn't fulfilling my obligations, and that I could do a better job, and I was so frustrated with the way the whole band was acting, and I just didn't know what to do about. The other drum major (Rle!) and I ended up in tears for the whole second half of the game, and cried for a long while after it. We felt awful.
"But the next day (Sep 20), we had a youth temple trip to do baptisms at the Salt Lake Temple. We had a ward devotional in the baptistry chapel, BishopB talked about how it doesn't matter where you were yesterday, or what other people think, or what challenges you're having- and I just started to cry- because we're in the temple now, and none of it matters here.
"And I just kept crying, waiting to do baptisms, getting confirmed. I think I scared a couple of our Beehives, because it was their first time doing baptisms, and I just bawled the whole time. But I was crying because I just felt this overwhelming sense of peace and love. I could feel the Spirit confirming that I am a daughter of God, that He knows me, and that if I kept doing my best to fulfill my obligations and to keep His commandments, that I was going to be okay. That feeling of peace and love stayed with me that whole day.
"The next day, Sunday (Sep 21), I asked my dad for a father's blessing. Despite the fact that I felt much better after being in the temple, I was still dreading going to band the next day. So my dad, without knowing what I had felt in the temple, gave me a blessing- in which he said all the same things. Again, I felt that feeling of love and peace.
"And, that night, my mom gave me a letter, saying she had felt impressed to write me a note. She had been out of town that weekend, and didn't know that I had been upset, or why I wanted the father's blessing when I asked for it, but this letter talked about what a valuable daughter of God I am, and how she's so proud of me, and other things.
"Although that football game was an awful experience, the witness of God's love for me that I received because of it is incredible. Maybe, in the eternal scheme of things, being the drum major of the marching band doesn't matter that much. But it was important to me, and because (and here I started to cry while giving the talk) I matter to God, it was important to Him."
And I know that it is true that God knows each of us individually, and that he will support us.

This point was my closing point, and I kept crying while I bore my testimony of the Gospel and Christ and the Book of Mormon. But I felt really good about my talk.

Then, later that day, one of my friends texted me- a kid in my ward who's been in band and choir with me, and who'll be a junior this year. This is how that conversation went:

Him: [My name] your talk today was so awesome! It was so inspiring and amazing. Thank you for always being such a good example to me and helping me to remember who I am. I'm so happy we got to know each other of the course of the past couple of years. It really has been awesome. I'm so excited to watch you continue to grow and become a better and more amazing person.

I cried. I was so worried about my talk, and knowing that it had impacted someone, especially one of the other youth, really meant the world to me.

Me: Thank you so much, [his name]! That really means a lot to me, cuz I was really nervous about this talk and it I'd be able to say everything I needed to. And I'm glad I know you too. You're a great kid! ^_^

Him: You didn't even seem nervous at all it was so great and made my day! Thank you.

Me: Haha thanks! But seriously that means so much to me.

Him: You are welcome!

And it seriously was the hugest thing to me, knowing that my words mattered. It was amazing. I was so worry about the talk, and if I'd be able to say something that would matter, and that I'd be guided by the Spirit. And something mattered to my friend. And that means so much to me.

Music Day

I just feel like sharing all the music I've been obsessing over recently.

It's gonna be a random day.

First, PENTATONIX. I love them. I've been following them since they started on the Sing-Off. And their new single is AMAZING.

Can't Sleep Love

Like, I just keep listening to it. Pentatonix's blend and balance as a group is phenomenal, and they've done such an amazing job with this song. Plus, it's just so dang catchy, the lyrics are great, and the video (although almost a sensory overload) is just so much eye-candy that you can keep coming back to it. It's marvelous.

More Pentatonix- this cover they've just released. I love what was done as far as staging and videography, and musically, it's just wonderful.

Where Are U Now

It's just great. I also love that it's simpler, and you can get a lot more of the emotion out of it. Plus, Mitch's dance party. :D (Mitch being the one in the black sweater) I really love watching Pentatonix perform, especially because I sing, and it's incredible what they do with a capella music. It's so great to watch them, because they are SO committed to what they're doing.

Moving on! Joe Hisaishi in Budokan - Studio Ghibli 25 Years Concert. Studio Ghibli makes these magical, beautiful animated films that I love intensely. Joe Hisaishi is responsible for most (if not all) or the soundtracks, and this concert is incredible. It's also like an hour long, so you may want to just listen to it while doing other things.

I especially love the moments following:
from 0:19:40 to 0:24:10
from 0:45:21 to 0:46:58
and 1:08:42 to 1:15:50
but it's all phenomenal. Ghibli movies are wonderful. And the music is incredible. I've listened to bits and pieces of this concert and the whole thing so often. And I've got a Joe Hisaishi station on my Pandora radio. So that's that.

And my last musical obsession of today is MIKA. He's AMAZING. He's recently released an album called "No Place In Heaven" that's absolutely outstanding. My siblings and I have basically had it on repeat since we bought it a few weeks ago. And I'm just gonna share a few of my favourite moments.

Talk About You

It's just so cheerful and happy, and great to jam out to. Plus, he's so fun to watch perform, and I adore the staging and choreography in this video.

Good Guys

Again with the staging and choreography thing. What they did with this video is phenomenal- I love the interpretative dance feeling, and the costuming. It's great. Also, the crescendo at 2:18. It's awesome. And finally, the line, "If we are all in the gutter, it doesn't change who we are, cuz some of us in the gutter are looking up at the stars." I love that idea- it doesn't matter where you are, it matters where your focus is, where you're going.

Last Party 

It's perfect. I love the emotional feel of this song, and what they did with this video is perfect. Devastatingly perfect. And I love the music- all the effects with the various strings, the gentle continuous build of the whole song, the backing vocals and subtle harmonies, and then the HUGE crescendo with the runs in the flutes that starts at 2:50--- and then it just all cuts out, at 3:17. Oh. My. Gosh. It's PERFECT.

And finally, my current obsession and the song I've had on repeat for days:

Hurts

I just love it. It's devastating, lyrically, and so painfully relatable. "You say it's only words, and that it will get easier with time, but nothing's only words, that's how hearts get hurt." The piano part is incredible. The vocals are simple, and the backing is minimal, and the simplicity just adds to the emotion. And I intensely love the "I can't- I can't- I can't stop..." at the beginning of each chorus (first time at 0:58). To me, it sounds like the feeling of crying to hard to talk, just "I can't, I can't, I can't" and then you finally manage to say it. It's so wonderful.

Yeah. That's my current musical obsession. But everything in this post is something I adore.

Where You Want Me To Go

IT CAME, IT   F I N A L L Y   CAME!

But before I talk about opening my call, I've gotta talk about some other things relating to the mission.

Like I talked about in this post back in April, I spent the past school year debating and fasting and praying about whether to go to college or to go on a mission this fall. And I eventually made the decision to go on a mission, and received confirmation that it was right for me.

So I excitedly began working on my paperwork, hoping to finish it quickly. I was hoping to have it done in May, and to leave in September, right after I turned 19, but then... Life has a way of doing things.

See, I have this old leg injury from the summer of 2012. Another girl and I kicked shins REALLY hard during a game of pick-up soccer. I had a pretty deep bruise, but it went away after a few weeks, and I felt fine. Then, towards the end of cross country season that year, my leg started to ache a little, right in that spot. But the season ended, and the ache went away. I wasn't able to run the next season, and my leg never bothered me. But last fall, 2014, I got to run again. I started running in July (pre-season conditioning!) and by the end of September, this pain in my leg was back with a vengeance. I ran through it all season, sitting out a couple of tough workouts and even one meet, and nothing we did fixed it. It hurt. BAD. We went to a doctor here in Myneton, who specialises in sports injuries, and he diagnosed it as a fascial tear, with nothing to be done but a tiny surgery, which he suggested postponing 'til summer. Throughout this year, random stuff, like walk/running around Disneyland for two days, would aggravate my leg again, and it would hurt. It was really frustrating, but I trusted the doctor and waited to schedule the procedure he said I needed.
But, back to this May, as I'm working on my papers, and we start getting all my medical worked out, my mom decides we should get a second opinion on my leg. The first week of June, we went to a clinic in Salt Lake City, the closest big(ish) city to Myneton. (fun fact of the day: Myneton is a small town in northeastern Nevada and Podunk is an even samller town in northern Utah. the move was fun....) The doctor there disagreed with the fascial tear diagnosis, saying that he didn't feel anything equivalent to that, and he called it something else. He gave me a prescription for an anti-inflammatory cream, told me to use it for a month, then start really running again, and get it aggravated up, then schedule an MRI and a follow-up with him.

So I did. Everything else with my papers was done, all my other medical, and I just needed this one old leg injury cleared. It was frustrating to me to watch the time slip closer and closer to September, when I wanted to be leaving. I spent all of June using this anti-inflammatory cream on my old injury, and then all of July running and playing Just Dance, and trying to get the impacts I needed to annoy this old injury. We finally got an MRI and an appointment scheduled in the middle of August:

The good news: I don't have cancer, it's no serious issue, and it's something that can be fixed. It is indeed his diagnosis of something else, which is basically just line level nineteen shin splints.

The bad news: the treatment is to leave it alone and hope it goes away (umm, it's been three years and one of those I didn't run, I don't think that's it...) or to do this crazy procedure where you basically cut the leg open, flay all the muscle off the bone, and let it put itself back. It heals better than it started. That procedure takes at least six months to recover from. (six months?? that's so long!!)

The best news: it shouldn't interfere with my going on a mission. Because what tends to aggravate my injury is high-impact stuff, running and whatnot, mission life should be fine. Walking, biking, no big deal, just no running or jogging. We decided to wait until after my mission to see if we need the surgery, and I got my last piece of medical clearance!

But now, in the middle of August, I faced a new dilemma. My big brother is supposed to be home from his mission in Mexico City at the end of October or beginning of November. I've seen a few people put their papers in, get a call two weeks later, and leave a month after that. If I got one of those, I would miss my brother by a week. And I struggled with what to do for my availability date.

My original plan had been to leave in September. Overlapping my big brother for a few months wouldn't have bothered me... But a week. A WEEK. I worked on finishing up my paperwork, and I debated my availability date. And I prayed.

And then, somewhere along the way, I thought of something. Almost five years ago, when we found out we'd have to move from Podunk, Utah, to Myneton, Nevada, I made the hymn "I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go" my life's motto. My parents had fasted and prayed, and they knew that it was right. So I trusted God. And of course, as I'd been working on my mission papers, the song had often been in mind. But as I wondered what to do about my availability date, I realised that it's not just about going where the Lord wants me, it's about going when He wants me. With that in mind, I put my date as September 9, the earliest I could with my summer job. My call can always come for a later date, but it can't come for an earlier one. So I put my trust in the Lord.

After interviewing with my bishop and my stake president, my papers got submitted to Salt Lake the first week of September. And the waiting began. In the meantime, we've found out that my brother is scheduled to be home October 17- a week earlier than we expected. BUT. He's also applied for an extension, because he's been called to train, and he wants to finish the full two transfers with his greenie. The extension would probably put him home in December.

And I'm waiting for my call. THEN. This Tuesday, the 22 of September, it finally came! We invited a bunch of my friends over, and got all my family and some long distance friends on skype and phone calls, and I opened my envelope and read:

Dear Sister Harris:

You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Germany Frankfurt Mission. It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 18 months.

You should report to the Provo Missionary Training Center on Wednesday, December 9, 2015. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the German language.

And I cried.
And I just... WOW. The Spirit I felt was overwhelming, confirming to me that this IS what I'm supposed to be doing, and this is when and where I'm supposed to be going.

And it's kinda crazy, because Germany has been the joke the whole time. I took three years of German during high school, and I did really well. My cousin Sep went German speaking, to Germany and Austria and Switzerland. And just this last weekend, we were in Utah for a family gathering, joking about if I went to Germany, and Sep says, "Hey, if you do, I can hand you a German Book of Mormon right now." My friends have teased me about it. But it's actually happening, and I KNOW that it's the right thing for me!

I am so excited to share my testimony of this Gospel and its light and truth with the people of Germany!
76 days. But who's counting? :)

World Domination, pt II

So, a while back, I wrote this post about a conversation Bon and I were having about taking over the world. (I would recommend reading it before reading this post, but anyway) We'd been discussing all sorts of things, but in that post, the conversation ended here:

Me: What part of actually ruling the world is less fun than a failed attempt?

Bon: It's the excitement of not knowing if you will succeed, the tension of thinking you're monsters will eat your face, then the relief as you wrest control at the last second. It's exhilarating! Or painful...

Me: I prefer the exhilaration with as little pain as possible. It that's boring, then I guess that's me!

But now I have more! Okay, I've had more for a while... The previous post was the conversation up to August 14. I'm going to post the rest of it now, which covers August 15-17. Bon and I then started talking about missions, because he left for his on August 19, and then our conversation really ended.
But! The rest of the world domination conversation:

Bon: But the fun is in the gamble! Plus if you do it enough times, maybe the heroes will get inept. Or you win, it's a win win! (unless you get killed by monsters)

Me: I suppose I can see your point... But I'd still like to stack the odds a little farther in our favour.

Bon: Fair enough...

Me: It'll be worth the wait when we rule the world.

Then the conversation moved on to that mission life and whatnot. And now he's kickin' it in Louisiana, which is wonderful.

And here's the deal. I'm seriously so glad I knew this kid. He was one of my best friends sixth grade (when I met him) through eighth grade (after which I moved from Podunk to Myneton), and reconnecting with him these last few months was awesome. He's the funny best friend I remembered, although taller... But it was so great to rekindle that bond, to get to know him again, and to realise that some friendships just... Never go away. He's seriously great.

RandomSauce

So, first off, to accompany this post from a few days ago, about "At The Ballet" from A Chorus Line, there's this video that Rle found. It's a poor quality video with decent sound of the original cast performing the song, and it's incredible to watch. It's also neat to get more intro to the song, and why it happens. WATCH THIS.

Next, an update on my Midsummer Night's Dream life: at the end of rehearsal today, our director goes, "Oh, and I forgot to put it on the schedule for this week, when you're supposed to be off book-"
I START TO PANIC INTERNALLY BECAUSE OFF-BOOK THIS WEEK IS NOT A THING- "and it's by Thursday, August 24, which is next Thursday."
Okay, still terrifying, but manageable. I might make it. We'll see.

And then there's this dream I had the other day that I told Rle about, and she thinks it's the funniest thing in the whole world, so I'm sharing- and because it's written, I get to make it seem really dramatic. Here goes!

The dream opens and I'm in this dark, crowded room, music playing, and flashing lights, an almost club-like atmosphere. Everyone is dressed up, semi-formal. I'm with my cousin, Sep, when a cute blonde in a bold pink dress walks by, and he stops her- "Hey, do you think I could buy you something?" She says yes, and begins to walk quickly away, as Sep glances back over his shoulder at me, clearly excited about this girl. I don't think she's all that interested in him, she just wants the food. In the way of dreams, I am suddenly aware that the point of this crowded room is food- if you're a guy, to offer to buy some for a girl, if you're a girl, to hope a guy approaches you. The food could be a meal or dessert, that's not clear to me, but not important.

As Sep walks away, I glance around again and become aware that I am with Rle. The two of us are waiting, hoping someone will approach us. Oddly, we're sitting on the ground. Apparently, there are no free tables, and we are too lazy to stand. Suddenly, a boy approaches; nice-looking, blonde, he offers to buy me food, and I accept. We walk over to the food line, waiting to order, I accidentally bump him once, then we get our food. In the way of dreams, I am suddenly aware that I am alone; it didn't work out with me and the boy (whether I thought he was a jerk or he thought I was too awkward, I'll never know). But at least he still bought me food. I begin to make my way back to where I left Rle sitting on the floor, but in our blank floorspace, there is a table with several chairs. Rle is sitting at it, with a boy and food. I joined them, with just my food.

And that was the whole dream. Rle thought it was HILARIOUS. I guess it is. The funniest thing for me was retelling it to my sister, with Rle listening again, as I try to explain the concept of this place we were in: "I guess it was like dating, but condensed? The whole point was food, guys to buy it for girls, or girls to get offered... I'm not really sure, but that's what it was." And then my sister just goes, "So like, a bar for Mormons."
Yes. That exactly. Nailed it.

I guess that's the RandomSauce for today.... We'll see what else I manage to write about later.

A Midsummer Night's Dream

So, I'm waiting for my mission call to come. And so I've involved myself in the local college's production of Shakespeare's 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' because it runs in October, and I might as well!

And I LOVE this show! The first time I saw it was the summer before I started eighth grade, so... 2010. A while ago. But my older brother played Lysander, and a bunch of my other friends were in the production, and I just remember thinking what and INCREDIBLE show it was. It was so. funny. and so clever!

If you don't know A Midsummer Night's Dream, I recommend this helpful summary (although it does have a slight language issue.) But it's really good.

So of course, when I found out auditions were being held, I had to go! Rle auditioned too, which is great. Yay friends! But anyhow- Auditions were last week, and the cast list came out last Friday- Rle got cast as Egeus, Hermia's father, and I got cast as Titania, the fairy queen.

Which is wonderful! Except for one thing- I am an AWKWARD soul. I am not at all what I would envision as a fairy queen. Like, when I told my sister that there are several scenes where the fairies dance, and one where I have the line, "We shall dance with fairy grace," she just laughed. And one of my friends, an adult lady named Jor, who's helping with costuming/tech for the show, did the same thing. GUYS. I am NOT graceful at all! It's gonna be one fun adventure...

Seriously, though, I am SO STOKED to be in this show. I love it so much, and it's going to be wonderful!

Unless the fairy queen Titania trips onstage and takes out Oberon the fairy king, or some other equally awful idea. I guess we'll see.

At The Ballet

So, my voice teacher, G.M. found this incredible performance of this AMAZING song from Chorus Line.
A little background- Chorus Line is a musical about auditioning to be in the chorus line for a show, and as part of the auditions, the casting director asks each of the dancers to tell him something about themselves. That's when "At The Ballet" happens.

OK. So, I LOVE Audra McDonald, and I LOVE Kelli O'Hara, and I don't know Megan Hilty but I need to look into her more. And this song is just... WOW.

I used to dance ballet. I danced for five years, and my sister danced for seven, and we only stopped because we moved to Podunk, where there weren't any good ballet schools. Usually, I'm fine, but watching this video- oh! that was it, exactly. Dancing was home, and it was beautiful. And at 4:50, when the music just swells, and then the dancers came out, I cried. I miss dancing, I do.

Also, I've since grown up into the most physically awkward person, but that's off-topic.

Anyhow, so then I found two more things, the original cast recording and Seth Rudetsky. So here's the deal. The original cast doesn't sing as well as Audra and Megan and Kelli, but that's because they're DANCERS. And hearing the emotion in their voice is just incredible. And then Seth- he's this Broadway pianist who posts videos dissecting Broadway shows and songs and people, and everything he says about "At The Ballet" is just so cool, and it adds so much to the song, and the whole story. It's incredible.

original cast recording

Seth Rudetsky

And finally, I found this performance, of the original cast, fifteen years later. WATCHING them do it, and knowing what Seth said about the stories... It's wow.

the song starts 40 seconds in

I'm just obsessed with this song. It's beautiful and heartbreaking and everything.

Yeah. I think that's it for today.

19 Years Go By So Quickly

Yeah. It's my birthday. 19 today. (mission, here I come!)
And I just feel retrospective, and I'm going to post some things about myself. (there were going to be 19 originally, but I started this post way too late. so I've got like 10. oh well.)  Things I love, things I've learned, things I'd like to leave behind.... So here we go.

love- READING. I've always been a reader, as long as I can remember. I've lived thousands of lives and been to a million places and books have saved me and inspired me and amazed me and I absolutely love them. The Chronicles of Narnia. The Harry Potter Series. The Books of Bayern. The Cry of the Icemark. The Bartimaeus Trilogy. The Percy Jackson Series. Just to name a few.  I grew up in worlds of ink and paper, with my dad reading us stories and bringing words to life. Reading is amazing.

learn- What other people think doesn't matter. And I don't mean ignore your parents or your very best friend's good advice. What I mean is, it doesn't matter if the girl in your class thinks your pants aren't cute enough or if the boy doesn't laugh at your jokes or if your hair/face/laugh/thing you love/hobby isn't fashionable or whatever else. If you spend your time worrying about pleasing others, it is far too easy to lose yourself in the disaster that high school and society can be. You're the only person who lives with you 100% of every day, and you need to be okay with who you are. And who you are is brilliant and bright.

leave- Insecurity. Because of what I just talked about, I've also realised that insecurity is something I can live without. Yes, it's scary to talk in front of people, and I'm nervous about singing or performing or auditions, and sometimes I may not like the way I look. But letting insecurity eat away at my love for myself is never worth it.

love- MUSIC. I've been singing for as long as I can remember, playing piano since second grade, bassoon since sixth, saxophone since ninth, writing music/songs since eighth grade. And music is a wonder. Ink on a page and creations of wood and metal can change moods, break hearts or mend them, hurt and heal. Music expresses what words cannot, and it is miraculous.

learn- It's okay to be weird. I spent ridiculous amounts of time in high school trying to be less weird than I thought I was. But ya know what? It's beautiful to be passionate about something, whether that's cars or Broadway or painting or calculus. There's no need to shave off the ragged edges of your weirdness, because that's what sets you apart from everyone else, what makes you powerful, worth talking to. Love the thing you love, do that thing you do, and know that you will be all the more interesting because of that. No one ever made history who wasn't called weird at some point.

leave- Toxic people. There are times when you may meet someone who brings you down- they guilt trip you or make you feel bad about yourself, they make you doubt yourself and your abilities, they make you question your worth. Don't let those people take up your time and eat away at your soul. Surround yourself with those who bring you up and encourage you and make you feel valuable and wonderful, because YOU ARE.

love- WRITING. Well, if you've been reading this, you know I write poetry, songs, words. There is something incredibly therapeutic about watching my soul come to life on a paper, organised and beautiful. And writing has been an incredible outlet for me, when I've been sad, lonely, happy, excited, angry, confused... Words are magical.

learn- Life is scary and hard and wonderful. Take chances. There will always be things you can't plan for, and unexpected events, but if you never try, you'll never succeed at anything. You will never know how much you may love something if you don't give it ago, and you will never know how much someone may mean to you if you never say hello. Don't let the things you're afraid of stop you from living.

leave- Unnecessary worry. If you can't change it, don't let it ruin your life. Make the changes you can, but accept that it may rain. Bring your umbrella, and enjoy it. Don't let tiny stresses take the joy out of life.

last, but not least- The Gospel is true and God loves you. That's it. That's the most important thing. I've had times of doubt and been lost, during high school. But the Gospel of Christ always ended up being the only thing that made any sense. And it always will. He will always be there, because He loves you.

Yeah. I guess I've grown up, some. Let's see the next 19?

Here I Go!

Well. I have a lot of feelings today, so a short post is in order.

After finally getting the last piece of medical clearance that I needed, I've submitted my mission paperwork online! On to the interviews. I AM SO HAPPY.

Also, I found this video today:

Which is AWESOME. And doubly cool because he served in the same mission as my older brother, and my bro had told me to look him up.

So I just have a lot of mission feelings. And I'm STOKED.

World Domination

So, I've been texting one of my friends from Podunk, Bon, this whole summer, and recently, our conversation has been awesome. I feel the need to share.

But first, a little background. I met Bon in the sixth grade, and he was one of my best friends from then until I moved to Myneton. We sort of lost touch... But have recently reconnected. He's definitely still AWESOME.
I met Tas in the seventh grade. He's a wonderful, one-of-a-kind hilarious, and I ADORE him. So. Now that you know who these two people are, I'm going to relay the conversation between Bon and I.

This part of our texting conversation began on July 21, and has continued sporadically since then, becoming better and better. The scene opens here, a few days after I visited Myneton:
*as always, typos are left as they occurred in the conversation*

Me: I adore you people. I'm totally gonna crash your ten year reunion!

Bon: Haha, do it. We'll still be the same. Just older. Except maybe Tas, he's going to go crazy in college

Me: I really will though! And Tas is *already* crazy. He raises carnivorous plants and ships his friends and if he goes crazier in college, it'll be something to see.

Bon: Oh yeah, Tas will become like An insane genius who will try to invent a death ray. He'll also become a pro gamer and set up a fake dating site, then lose it all in a bet. Then solve world hunger and become wildly rich. That's my prediction.

Me: Wow. That's ambitious. But, I could see it. Also, he plays oboe in the New York Philharmonic the whole time.

Bon: Of course. Still though, I think I was on to something with Tas bring a pro gamer.

Me: Oh, yacht. That's totally a valid option for his future. I can see it. ;)

Bon: For sure. He'll probably have a yacht too. Oh yacht. :)

Me: Thanks for just running with that. ^_^ The only question remaining is whether he'd still associate with us peasants when he's got all that crazy stuff going on.

Bon: Indeed. Then again, I'm hoping to be just as rich and knowing how smart you are, you could be too, so we should be good.

Me: With our combined genius, anything could happen. We'd be the most POWERFUL trioin the fire nation, and together we'd DOMINATE the world!

Bon: First if all, loved the reference. It was quite sharp. Be careful, with that Wit you might pierce the hull of a fire navy battleship killing thousands.
And second, heck yes'm. Take over the world in days.

Me: Ahahaha YAAAS! And even if our own mothers think we are monsters... Well, we'll rule the world, so who cares?

[note: those last three messages reference the Avatar: the Last Airbender tv show, which is AWESOME.]

Bon: Exactly! Because power and money at clearly the most important things!

Me: Indeed! Nothing else matters in life!

Bon: Plus then we'd be super villains,which is awesome!

Me: We'd really have to work on our presentation, so we'd really be super villains!

[note: Megamind reference!]

Bon: Of course. Does that mean Tas will be the super hero? Because that would be a great backstory.

Me: No, we're all three supervillains together, an unstoppable team! Somebody else will have to be the superhero!

Bon: I don't know. At best Tas is the villain who turns good and betrays us. Tas is just too good.

Me: Hmmm... You're probably right... He'll give away our secret weaknesses.

Bon: And right after we catch the hero too.......what a drag.

Me: *sigh* Why does it always go that way? I want it to be like Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog. I want the villains to win!

Bon: Ummmmmm......but then who is the one who dies? I really don't think that Dr horrible had that happy an ending for anyone.

Me: I dunno, it was pretty good for the E.L.E. Also, I never specified happy... I just said the villains win!

[note: Dr. Horrible is AMAZING. Go look it up on Youtube and watch it.]

Bon: True. Still gotta decide who has to die in this scenario, though...

Me: Well, that's depressing.

Bon: Yeah, so let's not shoot for Dr horrible. Maybe like mega mind or something?

Me: But... The villain turns good. I guess we could go that route, but I think it would ruin the 'betrayal by Tas' storyline.

Bon: Yeah... What movie has the villain win but isn't a tragedy???

Me: Umm... Umm... Umm...

Bon: We'll have to make it own (gasp!)

Me: Original thought? Perish the idea! How MARVELOUS.

Bon: Let's see... The story will open in a large city all black and white like a detective show. The camera will slowly zoom into a large building...

Me: Where the three of us, stylishly dressed and in the most dramatically furnished room, are plotting our takeover of the world.

Bon: Yes, Tas would be like a well dressed spy, whereas I would be a crazy scientist with crazy gadgets. I'm betting you woulds be the mastermind

Me: I can definitely go with that. So, what's the evil plan?

Bon: Hmm... That's the hard part. An evil plan that hasn't been done to death... You're the schemer, any ideas?

Me: Kill all honeybees, except from our personal farm, monopolise the honey and beeswax industries... Go from there.
Spread socialism as we go.
On our way to communism that we run, and world power.

Bon: I like it! It's big. Just needs some death ray and freezing ozone, and we'll have a master plan!

Me: Alternatively, we drain the oceans and transfer them to Mars (you up for portal use?), so we'll control BOTH planets... Twice the landmass, twice the potential, all the GLORY.

Bon: Love it. We can then create star ports, speed expansion and science and make a galactic empire. All by thinking with portals.

Me: Exactly! Now, the only question left is why Tas would defect from a plan as astounding as that one?

Bon: Clearly he is not a fan of our totalitarian government. Either that or he is secretly a tree hugger and loves bees.

Me: Well, I'm not a fan of totalitarian governments either... But it's TOTALLY different when I'm in charge! Oh! Maybe Tas wants to be the Supreme Overlord, and since he can't be (because I AM) he betrays us?
Or, the honeybee thing.

Bon: I'm betting on the supreme overlord one. But then, even though he turns good because of selfish reasons, he finds he likes being a hero and narrowly escapes to reform a rebellion that he quelled earlier in the story. Then all we need is some giant monsters somewhere in there and we're good!

Me: We're brilliant. We engineer and control the monsters ourselves. They're nearly impossible to defeat, but Tas knows all their weaknesses. It'll sell millions of copies!

Bon: Brilliant! We'll be rich in no time! We better get someone on the movie rights. We night even get rich enough to really take over the world.

Me: Infallible. We're marvelous!

Bon: Best crime trio/duo this side of Jupiter!

Me: Yes. It'll be MARVELOUS.

Bon: Let's do it. I'll get on the death ray and scary monsters.

Me: Good. I'll work on the details of the plan, and hiring underlings.

Bon: Just make sure you get some good underlings. Ones who can aim, not like storm troopers and every other henchmen ever.

Me: I know... We'll have to find a way to counter 'shooting against the hero' syndrome. ALSO. We need villain identities!

Bon: True... Never really thought about the identities... Any good ideas?

Me: Tas can be Sir Sneaks-a-Lot, you'll be Dr. Gizmo, and I'll be the Mastermind.
Kidding. Totally kidding.

Bon: I feel like... Those names give away our jobs. Is gotta be subtle.

Me: Hey, I don't see you with any ideas. ;) C'mon, the Mastermind is good! You can be Dr. Maniac... And Tas is... Is... Midnight Malice.
Okay, I'll admit, Dr. Maniac isn't OPTIMAL, but as a set, the names sound cool! And, Tas can change to Midnight Marvel or Midnight Miracle or something when he betrays us. It's totally perfect!

Bon: OK, midnight marvel does sound awesome. I like them, though could we drop the Dr? I don't have a Phd, nor do I really want to get one in being crazy...

Me: Valid. Mastermind, Maniac, and Midnight Malice. Now we have identities- we can REALLY take over the world!

Bon: OK! Let's do it! Next Tuesday seems like a good day! Let's shoot for world domination by then.

[note: that text was sent August 6, so Tuesday was August 11.]

Me: Wow, that's an aggressive deadline. Are the monsters going to be ready?

Bon: I'm getting there I've made them, but so far all they're done is try to tear my face of.... Hungry little guys. We do have Tas....i mean midnight malice is going to Hungary, so I figured we could have an agent in Europe.

[note: Tas entered the MTC on August 5 for a mission to Hungary. Bon enters the MTC August 19 for a mission to Louisiana.]

Me: I'm not sure if those monsters rote
sound ready to use. Also, Midnight Malice won't be in Hungary for a few weeks, so we won't HAVE a Europe agent.

Bon: Meh, he's getting there. And monsters are better if you can't really control them anyways

Me: Valid point. I mean if we can't control them, no one else can, right?

Bon: Exactly! Besides, I'm sure we can figure it out before they kill tons of people and rebel

Me: Nawh, stopping them can be Tas's job, after he betrays us.

[note: it's now August 11.]

Me: So... World domination today? We've got like six hours left...

Bon: Oh Uh.... Sure? Not really sure how to start. I didn't think we'd get that far. I thought for sure the monsters would get free and easy my face by now...

Me: Well, that's not productive. It was YOUR deadline, buddy! ;)

Bon: Yeah... But in my defense, you are the planner. So what's the plan.

Me: My plan was a later goal for domination, sometime when the monsters are ready and we actually have an agent in Europe. :P

Bon: Oh fine... If you don't want any suspense... It would have been so exciting, but no, you want a "well thought out" plan with a chance of success...

Me: Yes. When I say world domination, I mean it. :D

Bon: [sigh] fine......it's just so much less fun

Me: What part of actually ruling the world is less fun than a failed attempt?

Bon: It's the excitement of not knowing if you will succeed, the tension of thinking you're monsters will eat your face, then the relief as you wrest control at the last second. It's exhilarating! Or painful...

Me: I prefer the exhilaration with as little pain as possible. It that's boring, then I guess that's me!

And that is where the plan for world domination currently stands. Watch out, we're coming. ALSO. I LOVE my friends!

RandomSauce

So... Summer eats my life.

I've been working at the mine Monday to Thursday every week, and every week since the last week of June, we've headed to the next state over to visit family. We drive out Thursday after work, and come bac k Sunday night. It's crazy.

We've tie-dyed and played games and stayed up late and had fireworks and birthdays and a mission farewell and watched movies and musicals and had a really good time.

Also, I've got two posts in the works, one about a talk I gave in church (in June) and one about a youth fireside from the beginning of this month.

I just haven't had time to post.

YIKES.

However, I have posted in July!

Small victories. :)

Yeah. August will hopefully be better?

RandomSauce

Welp... It's been a while. RandomSauce- I'm gonna dump and catch y'all up.
Last Thursday, I went to my old school's graduation, in Podunk.
Then Friday, I graduated in Myneton.
Saturday, Rle and I had our party- it was great fun, and a whole bunch of people came, Tak included.
Sunday, Rip got the Melchizedek priesthood (he leaves for a mission on July 8) and his eagles scout, which was a pretty cool day.
Monday, I started work out at one of the mines (there are SEVERAL. I'm not calling this Myneton for nothing.). I have a summer job there... and it's gonna be LONG hours, but it pays great. So, that's cool.

Then, and here's the real random story, I came home from work Monday, and our front door was open, because it's SO HOT, and through the screen door, I can hear my little brother and my sister talking, quite enthusiastically. I'm confused as to who they're talking to... I walk in, and I see them, with my mom, taking to... A lumberjack? Some random bearded guy, in a red flannel shirt? Double take, and it's Elder Hayes! He got home from his mission in December, and he's living here in Myneton for the summer, working a job that a family he met on the mission set up for him. So anyway, Hayes (which is what we ended up calling him because first name felt odd and Elder wasn't right either...) served in our ward for about five months, and he's totally best friends with our family (him and Elder Miller together), so he thought he'd stop in.
He was probably at our house for like three hours, including dinner. It was great. He's a funny guy, and it was fun to see him.

Although I was having a weird moment about it... Like, I thought he was rather attractive when he served in our ward, but missionaries exist in this bubble of untouchableness for me, so I never considered it. Well, Monday, when he was sitting in our living room, he was definitely attractive. WEIRD WEIRD WEIRD.
Although I did write a pretty poem about it... It's sort of true, and sort of dramatic:

The taste of your name
Is unfamiliar on my lips
But, darling, I think I like it
The smile on your face
That easy, cheerful grin
Is just how I remembered it
The gleam in your eyes
As we talk and tell jokes
I'm entranced by it
And your sure testimony
Of the Gospel we live
 I'm inspired by it
So... The taste of your name on my lips-
Darling, it's wonderful, and
I could get used to it

So Monday... It was weird.
Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, I woke up between 3 and 3:30, caught the bus at 4:15, rode the bus to the mine, arrived at 5:50, began work at 6, got off at 4, got home about 5:45. And I went to sleep at 9 every night. Mine life is rough. But also VERY cool.

Thursday night, UncleRo, Cad, Kad, Rip, and Zap came through and spent the night, and we partied and played games. It was lovely! Although, this conversation happened.

We were telling them about Hayes visiting, and then--
Cad: Well, did he hit on you?
Me: What?? No!
Cad: Well, I'm just sayin, elders who go back to their missions...
And we laughed it off, and told Cad and everybody else about other missionaries who've served here and come back through...
But OHMYGOSH. I felt SO AWKWARD.
Awkward enough that I wrote another poem about it.

Ahaha AWKWARD
'Scuse me while I laugh
"Did he hit on you?"
Well, NO
But I sorta wish he would have?
And super really don't
Because, what even. WEIRD
But then, I don't know
I like him- and his beard
I think I'm just overromantic
And sort of desperate
I just want to find someone
To make a real connection
But it can wait
I don't need that now
Although that doesn't change
How
You caught me off guard, made me laugh
And PANIC
Ahaha AWKWARD
And I hope no one saw that

So that basically sums up my life in that area. Hayes really IS attractive, but it's ODD... I don't like it. It somehow just feels odd, but there's totally a part of me that's like, "Yeah, go for it! Summer fling before he goes back to college, before you go on a mission... DO IT." And the other part of me's like, "NO. BAD STUPID IDEA."  But nothing will happen anyway, so it's whatever.

Friday, I vegged out all day, and then we had a Youth Conference (my last one!) kick-off dinner/game time.

Today, we went to an amusement park.

Yay Youth Conference!

I'll try to post more next week... This week was weird.